Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unneccessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support

It
is often argue
Change the verb form
is often argued
show examples
that all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
should spend leisure time with their
families
whilst others disagree and think it is not positive for all
children
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I am going to examine
this
question from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view and give my own opinion on the matter. On the one hand, some
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time with
families
is so valuable,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
if
families
environment
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
secure.
children
can use their
long time
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
experiences and their
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
throughout
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, for
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, Living with
families
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
offspring how to behave in society.
Children
can learn how to
loved
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
and care
other
Change preposition
for other
show examples
people in society by
see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
love in their
families
and
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
if their
families
have great bonding because family is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
circumstance to enhance
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
aspect in
children
.
On the other hand
, some individuals think oppositely their perspective
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
that youngster ought to step out from
families
during their
life
. Definitely living out of safe
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lot
meri
Change preposition
of meri
show examples
and
demerit
Correct subject-verb agreement
demerits
show examples
for
children
.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
of the most noticeable
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for
children
they gain
independent
Replace the word
independence
show examples
,
being
Verb problem
become
show examples
self-sufficient can learn
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
live alone without
Correct pronoun usage
their families
show examples
families
Change noun form
families'
family's
show examples
help.
Other advantage
Change the wording
Another advantage
Other advantages
show examples
of living without
families
causes
Verb problem
is that
show examples
children
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
extend their communication and make friends in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion,
obviously
Add a comma
obviously,
show examples
parental guidance is vital for many
children
and
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
shouldn’t neglect
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
valuable property if they have it and
also
living
Change preposition
outside
show examples
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
circle could teach adolescents many
life
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
so
children
should find
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
to manage
this
situation.
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on

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language use
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Consider incorporating synonyms and more complex expressions.
accuracy
Pay close attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy. Small errors can be distracting and may obscure the clarity of your arguments.
structure
Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs with one main idea per paragraph, supported by specific examples or reasons. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your text.
development
Be sure to develop your ideas fully. While you've touched on important points, expanding on these with more detailed examples or explanations could strengthen your argument.
introduction
You effectively introduced the topic and presented a clear thesis statement, outlining the essay's direction.
task response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the task requirements.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and the reasons behind it, reinforcing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional development
  • reinforce family bonds
  • social values
  • over-reliance
  • diverse range of people
  • autonomy
  • independent play
  • structured
  • unstructured play
  • extracurricular activities
  • cognitive skills
  • well-rounded experience
  • social settings
  • quality of family time
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