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Band 3.5

In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

#countries #government #technology #money
In recent years, governments are spending large
amount
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amounts
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 of money on new
technology
 to tackle
public’s
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public
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problem
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problems
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 in many countries. The primary reason for
this
 trend is the high demand on the internet all over the world and the effect of robots and AI,
therefore
 the government completely exploit the use of money. It must be accepted that investing money in new
technology
such
 as AI for healthcare, e-learning platforms for education, and smart infrastructure for cities, represents a progressive step towards modernizing public services and improving citizens' quality of life.
This
 is because
,
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apply
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 modern
technology
 provides convenience and flexibility by using it in many ways for studying. Take America as a prime example, where people
using
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use
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 robots in teaching or they
also
 use AI in many producing industries to have
a
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apply
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better efficiency. Another thing worth
consideration
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considering
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 is the effectiveness it
makes
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will make
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 in the future.
This
 means that
,
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apply
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 technological advancements facilitate better data management, leading to more informed policy decisions and streamlined governmental processes.
For example
, many AIs can show
a
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detail information
a piece of detail information
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detail
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detailed
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 information about the healthcare for people when they go to the hospital. In conclusion, despite the high demand for
technology
 nowadays, people should adapt
the
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to the
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 new
technology
 and live with it.
However
, governments should invest more in AI and robots to improve the efficiency
in
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of
show examples
 the work

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task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your argument is fully developed with more detailed examples. Consider expanding your ideas by explaining how technology specifically benefits government-public interactions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay benefits from a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next with effective linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
Incorporating more varied sentence structures and transitions could enhance the cohesion between your main ideas, making your overall argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay effectively outlines the reasons governments invest in new technologies and touches upon the benefits of such investments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay follows a logical flow, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in making your argument coherent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governmental investment
  • enhance efficiency
  • accessibility
  • responsiveness
  • public services
  • progressive step
  • modernizing
  • quality of life
  • technological advancements
  • data management
  • policy decisions
  • streamlined processes
  • shift towards technology
  • digitization
  • digital divide
  • privacy
  • prioritization
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