IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The given first graph illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
, which used various domestic appliances
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 from 1920 to 2019. The second graph presents how many hours of domestic chores
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 washing clothes, preparing clothes and meals
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 done by each household during the years shown.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be observed, that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with refrigerators and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners increased dramatically
while
Linking Words
households
Use synonyms
 with washing machines went up gradually during the century. The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of hours doing housework in each household decreased significantly between 1920 and 2019.
According to
Linking Words
 the given data, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of household ownership of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 rose noticeably to 70%,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of refrigerator owners surged to 90% during the first 40 years. The number
refrigerator
Change preposition
of refrigerator
show examples
 owners continued to
grew
Change the verb
grow
show examples
 and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak in 1960, which was steady until 2019. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner ownership went up slowly after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1960 year and culminated at 100% of
households
Use synonyms
 in 2000,
while
Linking Words
 washing machine ownership fluctuated after the
respectively
Change the word
respective
show examples
 period and experienced small growth at more
70
Change preposition
than 70
show examples
% in 2019.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, households, vacuum with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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