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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Many people argue that museums and art galleries should present the nation's art, as opposed to artwoks from other countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #museums #art #galleries #nation #artwoks #countries
Recently, the phenomenon of visiting
building
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buildings
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is
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has been
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 a heated debate.
Although
 many believe that salons and foundations illustrate
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
show examples
art
 style around the world
but
Correct word choice
apply
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others do not. I
profoudly
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profoundly
 believe that travelling to
a
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an
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exhibitaion
Correct your spelling
exhibition
 could be a good idea to understand about
art
 perspectives. From my point of view, museums are
spritual
Correct your spelling
spiritual
 places to find out about different artworks and cultures.
For example
, some foundations show us the history of a country and a painter's biography.
On the other hand
, a series of famous artists give value to buildings or galleries and they wanted to record their points.
As a result
, many countries
known
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are known
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by
Change preposition
for
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 a variety
artworks
Change preposition
of artworks
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 and their artists
such
 as Italy, France and so forth. In my opinion,
this
 issue is crucial for many people
becuase
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because
 they can introduce their country
prestgious
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prestigious
 to other countries.
For instance
, Iran as
a
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an
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 ancient land with a wide range of arts is
celeberated
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celebrated
 among
repiutation
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reputation
neigbour
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neighbour
 countries.
In contrast
, someone who does not meet with many aspects of
arts
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art
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
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 there are many things to present their nations'
art
such
 as
jewllery
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jewellery
 or dressing
designing
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design
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. Taking everything into conclusion, there are several ways to demonstrate the
art
 vision. Not only visiting galleries and museums are important places to
spending
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spend
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 time with our family or friends but
also
 they give us ample opportunities to realize about folks and nations.
Submitted by payam.nejad62 on

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Introduction Clarity
Try to clarify your stance more clearly in the introduction to make your opinion on the issue immediately apparent to the reader.
Paragraph Development
Ensure the main body paragraphs are clearly focused on separate ideas that directly support your overall argument. This helps in maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.
Use of Examples
Use examples more specifically to support your arguments. Specific examples can greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Language Accuracy
Work on the clarity and accuracy of your language to avoid confusion. Effective proofreading can help eliminate grammatical errors and improve the readability of your essay.
Personal Perspective
You’ve effectively brought out a personal perspective adding depth to the essay.
Conclusion Strength
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which helps in reinforcing your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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