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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates the amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
 to International museums
such
Linking Words
 as the
Louvre
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
, London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
, Vatican
Museum
Use synonyms
, and Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2015. It is noticeable that the highest
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 was
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
Louvre
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the international
museum
Use synonyms
 was the London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
. In 1980, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
Louvre
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 was approximately 7.9
million
Use synonyms
, which was higher than other museums.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
Louvre
Use synonyms
museum
Use synonyms
 rose to 9
million
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1995.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
Louvre
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 dropped
close
Change preposition
by close
show examples
 to 8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2000 but the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 skyrocketed to 9.7
million
Use synonyms
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 2000, which was higher
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 than other museums.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the Vatican
Museum
Use synonyms
 significantly increased from 5
million
Use synonyms
 to 9.5
million
Use synonyms
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 1980 to 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the London Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 was steady at 4
million
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 1980 to 1985 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 fell close to 2
million
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the Shenzhen
Museum
Use synonyms
 decreased from 3.9
million
Use synonyms
 to 3
million
Use synonyms
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2000 but the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased to 4
million
Use synonyms
 in 1.5 decades.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, louvre, museum, number, million, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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