some people think that children should only read academic book. other believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both views and give your opi nion.

Education is the most powerful asset of a person. Educated youth is the backbone of the nation. In the midst of change , society has divided into two groups as per
distinct
Correct article usage
the distinct
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mindsets of different folks . There is a colossal number of people who
Accord
Verb problem
Believe
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that children should spend their time reading only academic
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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meanwhile
on the contrary
, numerous citizens believe that children should read books for their pleasure
.there
Correct your spelling
There
is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion. Somewhere
i
Change the capitalization
I
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vehemently believe that reading books
for
Add a missing verb
is for
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academic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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as well as
for
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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entertainment . In the succeeding monograph,
i
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I
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intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
proffer examples to justify my notion
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
Although your essay touches on both views and provides a personal opinion, it lacks specific examples and detailed explanation to support each viewpoint comprehensively. Consider adding examples from studies, personal experiences, or observations to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's structure is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively developed to clearly present the topic, your position, and a summarised argument. A stronger introduction and conclusion will help frame your discussion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Using conjunctions and transitional phrases can greatly improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, making your argument more cohesive and easier to follow. Consider reviewing and incorporating these elements into your writing.
coherence cohesion
You've done a good job of presenting two contrasting viewpoints on the issue, clearly stating that there are differing opinions on the importance of academic vs. pleasure reading for children.
task achievement
Your personal opinion is evident, which is crucial in a discussion essay. You've taken a balanced view, recognizing the importance of both academic and pleasure reading.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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