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Some parents allow their children to travel around the globe during school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

#parents #children #travel #globe #school
Children are allowed to travel to various tourist places during their school time. Parents believe that
this
 has a plethora of benefits. There are many upsides and a few downsides of
this
 trend which will be examined
further
 in
this
 essay. Primarily, the objective behind
the
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apply
show examples
world exploration is to enhance the learning exposure and to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self reliance
Add a hyphen
self-reliance
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. At
first,
the kids who travel globally can learn from different cultures, people and architectures they witness during their excursions.
For instance
, if
an
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a
show examples
 history student
will travel
Wrong verb form
travels
show examples
 to Turkey, he will witness many historical mosques and could learn
history
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the history
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 behind
that
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them
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.
Similarly
, many places offer architectural magnificence to their tourists.
Thus
, it is an amazing way to learn by exposing
onself
Correct your spelling
oneself
 to
such
 locations.
Besides
this
, an individual will learn the art of
self reliance
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self-reliance
show examples
 by having
noone
Correct your spelling
no one
 with him to depend upon. To clarify
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, it is recommended by some communities that if parents want to send their kids to foreign countries for higher education
then
 they must acquaint them with
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 to foreign lands alone. It will improve their confidence and they will learn how to start a new life in an unchartered territory.
On the contrary
, it is sometimes detrimental
for
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to
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academic
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the academic
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 performance of a ward. Because of so
much
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many
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 cultural changes
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 during
such
 trips, children might not be able to adapt to their surroundings. They could even lag behind the curriculum taught to them
due to
 psychological pressure built on their mind. To exemplify
this
, many children whose parents move them from one school to another face some mental disturbances as they are not able to make new friends and could even lag in their studies.
To conclude
,
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 has a myriad of advantages
such
 as gaining knowledge and becoming independent.
However
, it may build some unwanted psychological pressures on kids and they might lag behind in their studies.
Submitted by Kiran on

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Task Response
Make sure you're exploring both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic in equal depth to provide a balanced argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include a wider range of linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your examples to be more specific, which can further support your arguments and make them more compelling.
Introduction and Conclusion
You've introduced and concluded your essay effectively, creating a strong framework.
Logical Structure
Your essay presents a logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Use of Examples
The use of specific examples, like the history student traveling to Turkey, effectively illustrates your point and engages the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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