Why do students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantage or disadvantage.

Some individuals enjoy doing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part-time

work

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

studying. There are a myriad of purposes

to take

Change preposition

for taking

show examples

a casual

job

Use synonyms

as a

side-hustle

Correct your spelling

side hustle

show examples

and rewards an individual with its advantages. A few disadvantages might be there but cannot undermine the

overall

Linking Words

positive impact of

this

Linking Words

trend. Primarily, there are a plethora of objectives behind working during school life.

To mention some

Verb problem

Some

show examples

notable reasons are to gain valuable experience, to network with employers and

also

Linking Words

to become self-reliant to pay school fees. To elaborate

further

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

part-time

work

Use synonyms

is important to gain

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experience which is helpful for an individual to create relationships with the employer which will

further

Linking Words

help him to get permanent employment once he

complete

Change the verb form

completes

show examples

his program.

For instance

Linking Words

, a real estate student who studies for his certification may start a

low skill

Add a hyphen

low-skill

show examples

job

Use synonyms

with any organization related to his profession

while

Linking Words

doing that he could establish his character within the firm and after he is done with his education he could negotiate a new salary with his upgraded skills.

Hence

Linking Words

, it is evident by making

relationship

Add an article

a relationship

the relationship

show examples

with an employer an individual can get a permanent

job

Use synonyms

On the contrary

Linking Words

, the temporary hustle could affect one's

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

and could result

into

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor academic

performace

Correct your spelling

performance

The

Correct article usage

Work

show examples

work

Use synonyms

life has many significant pressures and expectations from employers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the individual could

also

Linking Words

face overloads of assignments and projects from school.

Change the preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

moment,

this

Linking Words

person may find himself distracted from his education. Ultimately, it leads to detrimental academic results.

To conclude

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

temporary workers are fortunate enough to gain

work

Use synonyms

experience in the

Use synonyms

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

can ensure their future permanent

job

Use synonyms

through that employer. But, some distractions could hinder the path of the individual but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be overcome with time management.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a temporary

job

Use synonyms

has significant advantages.

Kiran

Apr 16, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction, developed body paragraphs, and a conclusive ending. To enhance your score further, consider diversifying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to smoothly connect your ideas.

Task Response

Your response effectively addresses the prompt, offering a balanced view on the topic with both advantages and disadvantages discussed. To elevate your response, include more specific examples or data to support your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.

Content

You did an excellent job of outlining the benefits and potential drawbacks of part-time work alongside studies, presenting a balanced argument.

Structure

The logical flow between your paragraphs is commendable, making your essay easy to follow and understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Why do students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantage or disadvantage.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.