IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In cities many people are living alone. What are the reasons for it? It is a positive or negative trend?

#cities #people #trend
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Numerous
people
 are living a solitary life in the metropolitan areas. There are a plethora of reasons behind
this
 trend. From my perspective, it is a negative development and it has
mulitfarious
Correct your spelling
multifarious
 implications which will be examined
further
 in
this
 essay. Basically, many
people
 are
seperating
Correct your spelling
separating
 themselves from their joint families and
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to live alone
at
Change preposition
in
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 their own
home
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homes
show examples
.
For instance
, in the contemporary era, kids leave their parents and move to their own apartments after they become
an
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apply
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adult
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adults
show examples
. They want to explore
world
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the world
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 on their own and aspire to become self-reliant.
Thus
,
this
 pursuit of independence
render
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renders
show examples
 their parents alone
at
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in
show examples
 their old
ages
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age
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.
Besides
this
, some
people
 fail to coordinate in the joint family and they face many drawbacks
while
 staying with their cousins and many other members of their clan. To exemplify, some families have small kids and at the same time a
school going
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school-going
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 generation. They cannot handle the continuous distraction of
the
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apply
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toddlers when they have to study.
Hence
, they prefer a secluded accommodation where they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 find a peaceful environment.
On the contrary
, it is causing a myriad of negative outcomes.
For example
, many
people
 are seeking medical help because they are suffering from mental
illiness
Correct your spelling
illness
.They suffer from diseases like depression and psychosis which result from lonely lives Evidently, they do not have anyone to discuss their problems. Ergo, it builds an unwanted pressure on the health system.
To conclude
, many reasons
are contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
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 to
singles'
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single'
show examples
 households and resulting in mental illness.
Overall
, it is a negative development.
Submitted by Kiran on

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Structure
Continue to structure your essays with clear introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions. This clear structure aids in logical flow and coherence.
Specific examples
Expand on your examples with more specifics to illustrate your points better; this can help in strengthening your arguments further.
Balanced argument
Consider exploring both the positive and negative aspects of the topic more evenly to fully address the task requirements.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas and improve readability and coherence of your essay.
Clear argument
You've provided a clear overall argument, presenting your view that the rise of solo living is a negative development.
Use of connectors
Your essay demonstrates a good use of connectors and transition phrases to link ideas smoothly.
Relevant examples
You've successfully introduced relevant examples to support your main points, though more detail could enhance them further.
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