An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping on line.

#people #individuals #companies #line

this

modern world, Online shopping become popular and convenient for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Besides

this

while

shopping online, there are pros and cons as well for individuals and corporations. I will explain in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, there are numerous advantages for both

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

and industries doing shopping online. To explain, It

very

Add a missing verb

is very

show examples

convenient and easy.

For instance

, sitting

Change preposition

show examples

one place

Remove the comma

apply

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can shop without going to

store

Correct article usage

the store

show examples

by using

mobile

Correct article usage

a mobile

show examples

laptops

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laptop

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. Because companies provide every single detail about the product

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apply

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become

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becomes

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more efficient to buy the item by mass.

On the other hand

this

is beneficial for industries as well.

For example

, they do not need warehouses in every city

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which they can save money from

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and other bills

such

electricity

Change preposition

as electricity

show examples

, water etc.

Thus

this

kind of shopping is useful for both. On the other side, there are several

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

people

hesitate to buy things online. To elaborate,

due to

less

Correct word choice

the low

show examples

quality of products and some scams,

people

prefer to go to

store

Add an article

the store

a store

show examples

Sometime

Replace the word

Sometimes

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, industries

lied

Correct your spelling

lie

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to the

mass

Fix the agreement mistake

masses

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about their products and put fake

detail

Fix the agreement mistake

details

show examples

online, which

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

have trust

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

buying online.

Moreover

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apply

show examples

these days, a lot of scams are happening around us by making fake websites and

stole

Wrong verb form

stealing

show examples

money.

In contrast

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

companies,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have to deliver their things in

given

Correct article usage

a given

show examples

time

otherwise

it will affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reviews. In conclusion, for

people

choose

correct

Correct article usage

the correct

show examples

websites which is familiar

then

they easily do

shopping

Correct pronoun usage

their shopping

show examples

without any hesitation and

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

companies, always need complete order

Change preposition

apply

show examples

time

Change preposition

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

gain and maintain the

people

’s trust.

Submitted by AP on Tue Apr 16 2024

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task achievement

You've done a great job of outlining some key advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for both individuals and companies. To further improve, consider integrating more varied and precise examples that clearly demonstrate each point you're making. This will add depth to your essay.

coherence & cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, try to organize your ideas more logically, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with clearer connections between them. Use a variety of transition words to help guide the reader through your thoughts more seamlessly.

task achievement

When detailing the advantages and disadvantages, make sure each point is directly related to the question's focus. It's good to mention trust issues and the impact of scams, but linking these to specific examples where individuals or companies have been affected can strengthen your argument.

coherence & cohesion

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and the range of vocabulary used. Diversifying your word choice and polishing your grammar can significantly improve the effectiveness of your communication.

task achievement

You effectively address both sides of the online shopping debate, covering both advantages and disadvantages for individuals and companies.

coherence & cohesion

Including both an introduction and a conclusion helps the structure of your essay and gives a clear frame to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

e-commerce
virtual marketplace
consumer satisfaction
product comparison
overhead costs
cybersecurity threats
operational costs
global market
carbon footprint
economic impact

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An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping on line.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

today ,most of people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger.is it a positive or negtaive development in your opinion?to what extent do you support the devlopment?