IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the newly built houses should be the same as the old houses in local areas. Others argue that local authorities should allow people to build houses in their own style. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The developing economy in recent years
have
Change the verb form
has
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 had a great impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
 which made them more wealthy.
However
Linking Words
, a lot of money does not mean a lot of
happiness
Use synonyms
, researchers
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 proven that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in developed
nations
Use synonyms
 do not seem as happy as those in developing
nations
Use synonyms
.Several reasons will be discussed in the essay below, followed by lessons. There are some factors that are believed to be responsible for
this
Linking Words
 situation. Chief of these is that the level of economic growth impacts developing
countries
Use synonyms
 and affluent
nations
Use synonyms
 in different ways. As for developing
countries
Use synonyms
, thanks to the economic expansion,
people
Use synonyms
's economic status has changed significantly, many
people
Use synonyms
 have gotten rid of poverty and become middle-income class.
That is
Linking Words
 why they felt thankful and pleased with the improvements and enjoyed their lives.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have already had a wealthy life, they have everything
such
Linking Words
 as houses, cars and expensive properties. They are
also
Linking Words
 provided good facilities
such
Linking Words
 as schools, hospitals, buildings and
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 from the governments so they will not be grateful for the growth of the economy since it did not dramatically change their lives. Two meaningful lessons can be drawn from the above.
Firstly
Linking Words
, material wealth does not equal
happiness
Use synonyms
. Money only serves to guarantee basic necessities and
happiness
Use synonyms
 is an active by-product of action.
Happiness
Use synonyms
 is different in different individuals, one might be happy with basic things in life, other happy only when they live wealthy. Another lesson is that
people
Use synonyms
 in both rich
nations
Use synonyms
 and developing
countries
Use synonyms
 should spend more time going outside to socialize and find their own
happiness
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of staying at home alone. In conclusion, the essay has demonstrated the root causes leading to why
people
Use synonyms
 from developed
countries
Use synonyms
 are not happier like those from developing
countries
Use synonyms
, and a few lessons have been withdrawn.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is predicted that the situation can be reversed in the future.

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Introduction Clarity
Be sure to directly address the question prompt at the start of your essay to clearly establish what you will be discussing. Making a clear statement of your opinion in relation to the prompt can also help with task response.
Supporting Examples
Including specific examples to support your main points can greatly enhance your essay by providing concrete evidence for your arguments, making them more compelling.
Linking Words
Try to use a range of linking words and phrases to help the flow of your essay and make your reasoning clearer. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your work.
Directness
Consider reflecting on how directly each paragraph answers the question. Each part of the essay should contribute to your overall argument or analysis.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing your thoughts effectively.
Balanced Discussion
You have demonstrated an understanding of the issue with a balanced discussion of both sides. This is good practice in addressing the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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