IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #parks #spaces #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables #outweigh
The concept of repurposing public parks and open
spaces
 into
gardens
 for residents to cultivate plants is gaining traction in certain areas.
While
 there are clear advantages to
this
 approach, I contend that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits for several compelling reasons. On the positive side, repurposing public
spaces
 into
gardens
 offers residents the opportunity to engage in local food production, fostering self-sustainability and reducing reliance on commercially produced goods.
This
 shift towards localised agriculture
also
 contributes to a reduction in carbon emissions associated with food transportation, aligning with environmentally friendly practices.
Moreover
, gardening has well-documented therapeutic benefits in that it not only positively impacts mental health by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression, but it
also
 provides a fulfilling recreational activity that promotes
overall
 well-being among participants.
However
, despite these merits, several significant drawbacks merit consideration. Foremost among them is the potential loss of recreational space for other activities
such
 as sports, picnics, and relaxation.
This
 reduction in available green areas may detract from the quality of life for residents who value these recreational opportunities.
Furthermore
, the conversion of public
spaces
 into community
gardens
 requires substantial initial investments in infrastructure and ongoing maintenance. Without adequate funding and sustained community support, these
spaces
 risk falling into disrepair and neglect over time, diminishing their
overall
 impact and value. In summary, communities can benefit from repurposing public parks into
gardens
, but it is critical to consider the associated drawbacks,
such
 as the loss of recreational space and the challenges of maintenance and funding.
Submitted by anhtutn034 on

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evidence
Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points more firmly.
depth
Consider exploring the impact of your points on various stakeholders to deepen your analysis.
balance
Balance the essay by discussing the potential ways to mitigate the disadvantages you've highlighted.
structure
Effective use of a balanced argument structure to examine both sides.
flow
Good logical flow, with clear transitions between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, anchoring your essay effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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