Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The issue of whether professional athletes should attain significant salaries compared to individuals in other careers is a topic that sparks debate.

While

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some argue high earnings are completely rational

due to

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the unique skills that sportspersons provide, others believe it is foul when compared to essential workers in fields

such

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as healthcare and education. In my point of view,

whereas

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athletes deserve to be rewarded for their talents and contributions, greater efforts should be made to ensure that essential workers in vital sectors are fairly compensated. In

this

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essay, both perspectives will be examined on contentious subject issues. Supporters of high salaries for proficient players claim that earnings are a result of the exceptional talent, hard work, and dedication required to excel in sports.

For instance

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, professional footballers who may receive around 100 million Euro per year, undergo rigorous training regimes and face intense competition.

Additionally

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, these adepts often serve as role models and inspiration sources for aspiring humanity worldwide.

Therefore

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, the extensive wages they receive can be seen as a recognition of their unique contributions to society.

On the other hand

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, those who oppose the idea of players earning significantly more than other sectors argue that

such

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disparities in income are unjustifiable.

For example

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, essential workers like teachers and healthcare providers play crucial roles in society under challenging conditions, yet their incomes are typically much lower and even less than 0.1% of sports stars’ paychecks.

This

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massive discrepancy in earnings raises questions about societal values and priorities, highlighting the need for a more equitable distribution of wealth across different professions. In conclusion,

whereas

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the debate over the subject, continues, both perspectives have valid points.

However

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, the more balanced actions recognize and reward individuals in all professions, the fairer and more equitable effects the society will sense.

majid.ebadiMon May 13 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is developed with specific examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, ensuring paragraphs are well-organized around a single main idea will enhance clarity.

General Advice

To elevate your essay to the next level, you might introduce a more nuanced discussion that acknowledges the complexities of the topic. This can be achieved by exploring implications, counterarguments, or by providing a deeper analysis of the examples you choose.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and outlines the structure of your essay, aiding in reader understanding.

Task Achievement

You effectively discussed both views on the issue, providing a balanced analysis that reflects thoughtful consideration of the topic.

Task Achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your personal stance, which is an important aspect of task response.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Successful sport players can earn a great deal more money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adults. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

some people think that main ame of schools is turn children into good citizens and workers, rather their indivdual benefits. Do you agree or not?

In some countries, if people need to find work, they have to move away from their families and their friends. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.