IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians should be responsible for this task. To what extent do you agree or disagree with?

Students
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study
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 the
subjects
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 that the educational system selects for them to
study
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,
while
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 some people believe that
teachers
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 should be in charge of
this
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. Personally, I think
this
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 concept is sound. 
 First of all,
teachers
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 are able to select
subjects
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 that are appropriate for each
student
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 in their class since they are aware of the
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students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 skills.
This
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 is so that
teachers
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, who instruct
students
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 nearly every day of the week, may get to know each
student
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's personality and level of learning.
As a result
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,
teachers
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 might assign courses in physics and arithmetic to help
students
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 strengthen their logical thinking skills or literature and history to help them finish their education.
For example
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, in several developing nations like America or Australia, kids can
study
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 the disciplines they are interested in, like science or math, and it can
second,
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a more effective lecture format is possible. If
students
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 are made to
study
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subjects
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 they dislike, the class will not be productive since they will quickly grow bored. Even if knowing every subject that can aid in a
student
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's
overall
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 development is beneficial, not every
student
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 will benefit from it.
For example
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, in Vietnam,
students
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'
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 subject can take up more of their time in class,
while
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 studying history—which is a required topic chosen by the educational system—makes them feel drowsy and bored all the time. 
 In conclusion,
while
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 studying
subjects
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 chosen by authorities can aid in the development of all skills, there are more advantages when
teachers
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 select the
subjects
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 for their
students
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.

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task achievement
To enhance the essay, make sure that each main point is thoroughly developed with clear and specific examples. This would help in achieving a better task response and ensuring that the reader fully understands and agrees with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, using transitional phrases and linking words more effectively. This will improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Try to address potential counterarguments to strengthen your position and show a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion that not only reiterates your main points but also leaves the reader with a lasting impression or a call to action.
task achievement
Your essay covers the task by discussing the roles of teachers and central authorities in subject selection. You present a clear viewpoint, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effective, encapsulating the main points of your argument.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your ideas, which helps in making your arguments more convincing.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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