Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether it is better to own or rent the place where
people
live. While
some people
believe that owning a home can be beneficial in long
term, others including me, think that renting offers more flexibility and less financial commitment.
Correct article usage
the long
On the other hand
, those who advocate for owning a home think that it can provide a sense of stability and security, as people
can have a place to call their own and it allows them to make changes and improvements. As a result
, people
can redecorate their houses
depending on their own ideas. Moreover
, homeownership is often seen as a long-term investment. For example
, the prices of houses
increase significantly and by buying their own houses
people
can save their money and this
can lead to improvements on
Change preposition
in
financial
well-being of Add an article
the financial
people
.
On the other hand
, I would side with those who think renting is more
beneficial option compared to owning a house. Correct article usage
a more
Firstly
, it offers a level of flexibility and freedom. For instance
, renters have the ability to move to different locations without the financial burden of selling their homes. Furthermore
, renting may be a more cost-effective option in the short term. For example
, if people
travel to another country because of their jobs or other short-term reasons it can be better to rent a house than to buy, as renters will not be responsible for many of the extra expenses related to homeownership.
To sum up
, whereas
having personal houses
offers many advantages such
as to be
free for redecorating and it can be beneficial for financial sustainability, I think renting provides more opportunities including flexibility and being cost-effective in the short-term.Change the verb form
being
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Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view when discussing both sides of the argument. While your essay does introduce both perspectives, ensuring that each view is explored thoroughly can strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and transitions to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to make your essay even more cohesive.
Structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively framed your essay.
Argument Support
You articulated your opinion clearly and provided relevant examples to support your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?