Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether it is better to own or rent the place where

people

Use synonyms

live.

While

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some

people

Use synonyms

believe that owning a home can be beneficial in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

term, others including me, think that renting offers more flexibility and less financial commitment.

On the other hand

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, those who advocate for owning a home think that it can provide a sense of stability and security, as

people

Use synonyms

can have a place to call their own and it allows them to make changes and improvements.

As a result

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people

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can redecorate their

houses

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depending on their own ideas.

Moreover

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, homeownership is often seen as a long-term investment.

For example

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, the prices of

houses

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increase significantly and by buying their own

houses

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people

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can save their money and

this

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can lead to improvements

Change preposition

show examples

financial

Add an article

the financial

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well-being of

people

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On the other hand

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, I would side with those who think renting is

Correct article usage

a more

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beneficial option compared to owning a house.

Firstly

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, it offers a level of flexibility and freedom.

For instance

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, renters have the ability to move to different locations without the financial burden of selling their homes.

Furthermore

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, renting may be a more cost-effective option in the short term.

For example

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, if

people

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travel to another country because of their jobs or other short-term reasons it can be better to rent a house than to buy, as renters will not be responsible for many of the extra expenses related to homeownership.

To sum up

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whereas

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having personal

houses

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offers many advantages

such

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to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

free for redecorating and it can be beneficial for financial sustainability, I think renting provides more opportunities including flexibility and being cost-effective in the short-term.

Name_1234Wed Apr 17 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide a more balanced view when discussing both sides of the argument. While your essay does introduce both perspectives, ensuring that each view is explored thoroughly can strengthen your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases and transitions to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help to make your essay even more cohesive.

Structure

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively framed your essay.

Argument Support

You articulated your opinion clearly and provided relevant examples to support your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions c an you sug?

'A country’s museums should always be free for people to visit, whatever the visitor’s age, income or nationality.’ To what level do you agree with this idea? Should museums always be free for all visitors?