As English becomes more widespread as a lingua franca, there is concern that the values and culture of the English-speaking world will displace native values and cultures. To what extend is this fear justified?

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There is no doubt that
English
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is becoming increasingly important as a
language
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of international communication in the fields of science, trade, entertainment and
as well as
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others. So, there are many debates about whether
English
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will alter a country's nature. In my point of view,
this
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fear is justified but
i
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I

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believe that
people
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can manage
this
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situation
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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in
this
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essay, I will outline why
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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think so. It is true that throughout human history,
English
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is becoming more common ,
fluencial
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influential

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, and can be found in almost every country,
while
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some languages died out, hanged or even replaced. In
the
Correct article usage
apply

Your article usage with the geographic name Egypt may be incorrect.

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ancient Egypt,
hieroglyph
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hieroglyphs

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used to be widely written but
it
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they

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disappeared
along
Correct your spelling
a long

The word along doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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time ago and only traces are left behind. To some extent,
this
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process may be inevitable.
However
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, there are many examples in many nations of
people
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trying to preserve their languages and even revive
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

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.
For example
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, the Ainu
Language
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in Japan has been preserved by Japanese Government Policy on social media, propagating the
language
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.
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Language
Add an article
The language

The noun phrase Language seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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actually is one way of identifying a nation.
This
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can help
people
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be strong in adversity. Where
this
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sense of identity and
cohension
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cohesion

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has been lost in Malaysia. Some
people
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only speak
Malasian
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Malaysian

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;
Change the punctuation
,

The coordinating conjunction or should be preceded by a comma, not a semicolon. Consider changing the punctuation or deleting the conjunction.

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or
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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India
Correct your spelling
Indian

The word India doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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; or Mandarin
instead
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of having a
langiage
Correct your spelling
language

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in common.
This
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leads to problems
such
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as
:
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that the comma after such as is unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and loss of initiative. Retaining the
language
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of a community often means that other forms of culture exist and remain through songs, literature,
story
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stories

It seems that story may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and local traditions.
Therefore
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, it will be passed down through generations.
However
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, in modern society,
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english
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English

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only serves to make
human's
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human

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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life becomes more convenient in trade and tourism.
Nevertheless
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, it does not bring anything in terms of tradition, culture and nature. To summarize,
English
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plays a vital role in globalization to
fulfill
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fulfil

The spelling of fulfill is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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human's
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human

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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demands. After all, it cannot replace any country's
value
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values

It seems that value may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and culture because
language
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displays a nation's identity and tradition. In many countries, governments
also
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have gradually
becomr
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become

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aware of the importance of the position of
language
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and try to protect theirs from any threat.

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Paragraph Structure
Ensure your essay has clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph, supporting your point with specific examples or explanations.
Linking Words
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Supporting Examples
Your essay would benefit from more precise examples to support your arguments. Try to include specific instances or studies that highlight your point.
Grammar
Check for consistent use of tense and make sure your sentences are grammatically correct to enhance readability and coherence.
Argument Depth
Consider exploring counterarguments to strengthen your argument. Acknowledging and refuting opposing views can make your essay more persuasive.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've clearly introduced and concluded your essay, effectively framing your argument.
Logical Structure
You've done well to maintain a logical structure throughout the essay, making it easier to follow your points.
Content Depth
Your discussion on the importance of preserving native languages and cultures beside the adoption of English is insightful.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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