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Band 5

Many people think that countries have a moral obligation to help each other, while other argue that the aid money is misspent by governments that recieve it, so the international aid should not be given to the poor countries in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #countries #obligation #aid #money #governments #recieve #world
Do rich
countries
 have the duty to help the less strong economies? In
present
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the present
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 day, many people argue that the aid
money
 is misspent. I agree that the budget sent does often not
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the use it is supposed to. But should we really not give any contribution to the ones in need? First and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor
countries
 are often
printed
Verb problem
corrupted
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 by corruption.
For example
, in North Korea there are a lot of
residences
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residents
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who's
Correct your spelling
whose
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financially
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financial
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 situation has collapsed.
For instance
, the people in the country are starving. But
by
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apply
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giving
money
 to the government would not help them. The resources that North Korea would receive would
instead
 go to the people in charge of the country.
However
, there are other things that can be done.
On the other hand
,
money
 may not be the solution
of
Change preposition
to
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 the problem here. As earlier mentioned
money
 is often misspent by the government. The richer
countries
 can support by exporting other forms of needs,
for
instance
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instance,
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 food.
To transport
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By transporting
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 boxes with food directly to the ones starving, we can make a big difference.
Then
 the government would not have the opportunity to misuse our help.
To conclude
, it is important that
countries
who's
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whose
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financially
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financial
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 situation is stable help the poor ones. But the most optimal way to do
this
 is not by offering
money
, since it is often misspent.
Instead
Add a comma
Instead,
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 they can support the residences in other ways. By sending food, clothes and other
necessaries
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necessities
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 we can make
difference
Correct article usage
a difference
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. In
this
way
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way,
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 it is
garantied
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
 that the help is used as it is supposed to.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Grammar
Be mindful of tense consistency and subject-verb agreement to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to strengthen the logical flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Expand on specific examples to fully support your arguments and improve task achievement.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Continue to practice paraphrasing and utilizing synonyms to avoid repetition and showcase a wider vocabulary range.
Structure
You've done well in structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Response
You've addressed the task question directly and developed your arguments in a logical manner.
Use of Examples
The use of examples, although they can be further detailed, helps illustrate your points.
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