In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for children and the society that are part of?
Parents encourage their children to focus more on their curriculum and they reduce their free time to join any other activities.
This
trend has some upsides and downsides which will be examined Linking Words
further
in Linking Words
this
essay.
Primarily, the reason why parents feel the need to reduce the leisure period for their wards is Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
negligence
their Correct article usage
the negligence
kids
show towards study because of some distractions of Use synonyms
Smartphone
or Television. If parents have to ensure that their kid performs well in Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
the
academics Correct article usage
apply
then
they only allow them Linking Words
a
fewer breaks. The benefit of Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
approach is that Linking Words
kids
become more competitive and serious Use synonyms
for
their studies. Change preposition
about
Subsequently
, Linking Words
this
process generates more highly trained professionals for a country. Linking Words
For instance
, in Linking Words
India
there are competitive examinations held to provide entrance admissions only to some qualifying candidates. If someone performs well in the exams Add a comma
India,
then
he could take part in high-class educational Linking Words
researches
done by the Institutions. Fix the agreement mistake
research
As a result
, an individual can become Linking Words
highly
trained professional.
Correct article usage
a highly
On the contrary
, if Linking Words
kids
are not provided some leisure time they could turn into Use synonyms
some
boring monotonous creatures. The creative instinct might get diminished to a primitive level which is a special characteristic of a human mind. The world needs more innovative individuals who could help transformation in their surroundings. To exemplify, Albert Einstein, a great scientist had no ability to remember historical facts but was smart enough to contribute with his innovations to Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, the world needs more inventions Linking Words
not
the test takers.
Add the comma(s)
, not
To conclude
, enforcing high standards on children for the academic results might ensure them a great job Linking Words
however
it cannot be counted as an extraordinary contribution. A person needs to invent something which is not possible with just academic performance. So, some time should be allotted for Linking Words
kids
to develop their creativity.Use synonyms
Submitted by Kiran on
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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task with a clear presentation of ideas and benefits/drawbacks. To enhance task achievement, ensure every main point is explored in depth with a range of supporting details and examples.
sentence structure
You've structured your essay well, which aids in the overall coherence and cohesion. For improvement, work on varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow between ideas.
conclusion
Consider expanding your conclusion to not only summarize the main points but also to offer a more pronounced personal insight or a broader implication of the argument you've laid out.
balanced argument
You provided a balanced view by discussing both benefits and drawbacks, which fulfills the task requirements efficiently.
use of examples
The examples used, like the competitive examinations in India, are relevant and strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion presence
The introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job at bookending the discussion, giving your essay a good structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.