IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph show the average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services

The graph show the average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services
#show #expenditure #cell #phone #services
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The above line chart represents the service cost data of
cell
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 versus
resedential
Correct your spelling
residential
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
. The chart depicts the data from 2001 to 2010 with the money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 ranging from $200 to $800.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 both
services
Use synonyms
shows
Change the verb form
show
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a entirely different trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
an entirely different trend
entirely different trends
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. In the year
2001
Add a comma
2001,
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 the money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 on
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 was $200
whereas
Linking Words
 in the case of residential
phone
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
services
Add a comma
services,
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 it was about $700. There is a huge
varaiation
Correct your spelling
variation
 between the two
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year. At a particular time
period
Add a comma
period,
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 both
services
Use synonyms
 seem to follow the same trend between 2006 to 2007.
Then
Linking Words
 the cost
for
Change preposition
of
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 residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
incremented
Verb problem
increased
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 dramatically after 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
sevices
Correct your spelling
services
 expenditure showed a clear decline trend.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the annual cost for residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 seems to be more
economic
Change the word
economically
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 friendly than the
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
. It might be because of the low usage of residential phones
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
.
Submitted by praneeth2094 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phone, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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