Write about the following topic: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
In recent days, it is a noticeable phenomenon that more
people
prefer to use various medicines
and treatments rather than go to their usual doctors
. Such
a modern trend, in my point of view, does more harm than good.
Admittedly, there are some benifits
brought by Correct your spelling
benefits
this
situation. It is commonly recognized that seeing doctors
requires more amount of money comparing
to trying alternative Wrong verb form
compared
medicines
and treatments. If peopke
prefer to try different types of Correct your spelling
people
medicines
or treatments on their own, they may gain a conservation of money. Hence
, they may have the opportunity to use these
amount of money on other aspects like travel or education.
Correct determiner usage
this
However
, I strongly believe that the disadvantages of this
phenomenon far outweigh the aforementioned advantages. Generally speaking, doctors
no wonder are more well-trained and professional comparing
to common Wrong verb form
compared
people
. When it comes to dealing with illness, the doctors
will be aware of the most accurate and suitable solutions, and therefore
, healing the patients completely with a high efficiency. For example
, in the ages
of covid-19, there are Fix the agreement mistake
age
rumors
in China saying that one kind of Chinese medicine can heal the disease. Change the spelling
rumours
However
, with a healthy express
being published by professional Replace the word
expression
doctors
, the rumor
Change the spelling
rumour
was
officially broke down. Unnecessary verb
apply
Therefore
, people
find
out that taking that typical Chinese medicine was totally useless, Wrong verb form
found
instead
, with the vaccine been
designed by the Wrong verb form
being
doctors
, the coronavirus was finnaly
been able to Correct your spelling
finally
deal
with. Wrong verb form
dealt
Moreover
, as the doctors
were well-trained, they were aware of all kinds of medicines
and how it will affect on human body. Consequently
, they can offer the most proper therapy proposal. As people
always
willing to heal Add a missing verb
are always
the
diseases as fast as possible, Correct article usage
apply
doctors
may be able to helping
Change the verb
help
people
healing
in a safer way, which may do less harm to them. Wrong verb form
heal
Additionally
, usual doctor
are more familiar with the situation Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
people
may be suffering, furthermore
dealing with emergencies just on time. For example
, when a patient who
suddenly Correct pronoun usage
apply
suffered
some severe illness like Wrong verb form
suffers
heart
attack, Correct article usage
a heart
usual
doctor who used to deal with all the problems the patient had before can easily Add an article
a usual
the usual
named
all the Change the verb form
name
medicines
the patient may be allergic to, therefore
offers
the best therapy plan. Wrong verb form
offering
As time
may be the most valuable thing during Correct word choice
Time
an
emergency therapy.
To summarize, Correct article usage
apply
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
Correct pronoun usage
my view
view
on Fix the agreement mistake
views
this
issue vary from person to person, I tend to believe that seeing people
's usual doctors
is a safer and proper way to deal with their illness.Submitted by 1434110674 on
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Structure
Ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main body, and conclusion. This enhances clarity and readability.
Language
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate language proficiency.
Content
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Real-world examples or personal experiences can make your argument more persuasive.
Grammar & Spelling
Be careful with spelling errors (e.g., 'benifits' should be 'benefits', 'peopke' should be 'people') and grammatical inconsistencies, as they can detract from the clarity of your argument.
Balance
Consider presenting arguments for both sides of the discussion, even if you have a strong opinion. This shows an ability to engage critically with the topic.
Use of Examples
Good use of examples to support your points, such as the mention of COVID-19 and vaccines.
Clarity of Position
You successfully conveyed a clear stance on the topic, maintaining your position throughout the essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.