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Band 2.5

the bar chrt below shows the number of research students studying deifferent subject in2005

#bar #chrt #research #students #deifferent
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The bar chart describes the amount of research
students
studing
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studying
Correct article usage
a verity
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verity
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variety
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 of subjects in 2005 based on gender.
Overall
, the chart illustrates the number of male research
students
 exceeded the
famles
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families
females
 in almost all
subjectes
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subjects
. Generally, The amount
Male
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of Male
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 research
students
out-numberd
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outnumber
the
Change the word
their
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 female
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
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 counterparts in
mathmatics
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mathematics
,
programing
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programming
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,
engenering
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engineering
 and psychology.
Where as
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Whereas
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, In
lingustics
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linguistics
 females
students
 are higher in numbers .
However
, the amount of
students
 is
suprizinglly
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surprisingly
 equal in both genders in natural sciences. In both
engenering
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engineering
 and
programing
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programming
show examples
 male student are almost as twice as many
of
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apply
show examples
females
students
 ,
While
,in
mathmatics
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mathematics
 male
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 are more
then
Replace the word
than
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 three times,And in
psychology
Add a comma
psychology,
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 the number of male
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 is 200 and the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females is
little
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a little
show examples
 short of 200.
lastly
, linguistics female
students
 are
slightlly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 over 100
students
 and male student are relatively 80
students
 .
Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on

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Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proof-read your writing for minor spelling or grammatical errors, as these can slightly detract from the overall readability. For example, 'studing' should be 'studying', 'verity' should be 'variety', 'famles' should be 'females', 'mathmatics' should be 'mathematics', and 'engenering' should be 'engineering'.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally. Although your essay does well in breaking down the data by subject and gender, using transitions such as 'in contrast', 'moreover', or 'in addition' could enhance the coherence further.
Detail & Analysis
To further enrich your task response, you could include some comparative analysis or specific percentages when discussing the numerical data. This could provide a clearer understanding of the differences between subjects and genders.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear overview of the main trends shown in the bar chart, effectively summarizing the key points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay logically organizes information by subject and gender, which aids in making your analysis easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively use subject-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'linguistics', 'programming', 'mathematics'), which helps to convey your argument more precisely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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