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Band 2.5

the bar chrt below shows the number of research students studying deifferent subject in2005

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Introduction
The bar chart describes the amount of research
students
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studing
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studying
Correct article usage
a verity
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verity
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variety
show examples
 of subjects in 2005 based on gender.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
, the chart illustrates the number of male research
students
Use synonyms
 exceeded the
famles
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families
females
 in almost all
subjectes
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subjects
.
Body paragraph 2
Generally, The amount
Male
Change preposition
of Male
show examples
 research
students
Use synonyms
out-numberd
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outnumber
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 female
Use synonyms
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 counterparts in
mathmatics
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mathematics
,
programing
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programming
show examples
,
engenering
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engineering
 and psychology.
Where as
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Whereas
show examples
, In
lingustics
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linguistics
 females
students
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 are higher in numbers .
However
Linking Words
, the amount of
students
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 is
suprizinglly
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surprisingly
 equal in both genders in natural sciences.
Conclusion
In both
engenering
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engineering
 and
programing
Correct your spelling
programming
show examples
 male student are almost as twice as many
of
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apply
show examples
females
students
Use synonyms
 ,
While
Linking Words
,in
mathmatics
Correct your spelling
mathematics
 male
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are more
Linking Words
then
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than
show examples
 three times,And in
psychology
Add a comma
psychology,
show examples
 the number of male
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 is 200 and the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females is
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 short of 200.
lastly
Linking Words
, linguistics female
students
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 are
slightlly
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slightly
 over 100
students
Use synonyms
 and male student are relatively 80
students
Use synonyms
 .

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Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proof-read your writing for minor spelling or grammatical errors, as these can slightly detract from the overall readability. For example, 'studing' should be 'studying', 'verity' should be 'variety', 'famles' should be 'females', 'mathmatics' should be 'mathematics', and 'engenering' should be 'engineering'.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to help your essay flow more naturally. Although your essay does well in breaking down the data by subject and gender, using transitions such as 'in contrast', 'moreover', or 'in addition' could enhance the coherence further.
Detail & Analysis
To further enrich your task response, you could include some comparative analysis or specific percentages when discussing the numerical data. This could provide a clearer understanding of the differences between subjects and genders.
Task Achievement
You provided a clear overview of the main trends shown in the bar chart, effectively summarizing the key points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay logically organizes information by subject and gender, which aids in making your analysis easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively use subject-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'linguistics', 'programming', 'mathematics'), which helps to convey your argument more precisely.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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