IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The media has become too influential in peoples lives today and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The communication sources are widely affecting
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
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 of
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
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 to a greater extent. Some individuals hold a negative opinion
for
Change preposition
of
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such
Linking Words
 development. From my perspective, it is true and the reasons will be examined
further
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, a majority of media outlets are notably spreading some sort of political
agendas
Fix the agreement mistake
agenda
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 to get funding from political parties. They report
news
Add an article
the news
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 with partial facts to favour a political side. When
people
Use synonyms
 watch
such
Linking Words
 content in the news they get influenced by
this
Linking Words
 and vote for that party in the elections.
For instance
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, some investigational facts are concealed by the reporters which are related to corruption cases against some popular leaders and only favourable news is shown which is usually presented to attract public attention towards them to gain
reputation
Correct article usage
a reputation
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 among
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, social media
also
Linking Words
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 personal choices. Some
people
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 buy products from the internet because these are promoted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous
people
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. To exemplify, some actors promote food supplements to lose weight and
people
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 make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 after watching
such
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 motivational advertisements and do not consult their doctor before using them.
This
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,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 is a detrimental attitude towards their health and sometimes it even causes adverse effects. Ergo, it should be certainly avoided. In conclusion, media can create any kind of impression on its viewer's minds based on the content it creates. It has sometimes affected
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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 and political choices of individuals and could even act as an instrument for
businesses
Change the noun form
business
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 promotion.
Overall
Linking Words
, its influence has been used in a negative manner to generate leverage.

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Task Achievement
Clarify and expand your points with more diversified examples for higher impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on enhancing your essay with a wider range of linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider ending your conclusion with a stronger, more definitive statement that reflects your position more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay effectively, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt fully, presenting a clear position throughout.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influential
  • sensationalism
  • conglomerates
  • biased
  • misinformation
  • exacerbating
  • constant exposure
  • unrealistic standards
  • homogenization
  • critical thinking
  • foster
  • community engagement
  • social change
  • public opinion
  • perceptions
  • corporate interests
  • mental health issues
  • traditional cultural
  • educational sources
  • responsibly
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