There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Education in the present has a diversity and people can choose to learn some groups of parents want to fix of minds of children to study. Everyone has a thinking about that in the school has academic
subjects
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only.
while
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it can make a good way for children. In
this
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essay, I strongly disagree and I extend the reason in the below paragraph. Most children in school spend a lot of time learning about the main subject from a teacher. and
students
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concentrate all the time. It affects
students
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who have stress in the classroom and pressure from parents. On the one hand, Schools have additional
subjects
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such
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as physical education, cookery, and music. These
subjects
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can teach new skills to
students
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. which non-academic
subjects
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have a good choice for practice to some for part-time. and it makes creative
of
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apply
show examples
thinking in the course. In the same way, when a student applies to a university.
while
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non-academic
subjects
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can help
to
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apply
show examples
students
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make something to good in the future.
For example
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,
Students
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have
soft
Add an article
the soft
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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to join
in
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apply
show examples
several groups in higher education. Some people can go outside with another person and have to keep themselves.
Students
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make
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
a community to create a good
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
for the population. It makes feel good to other people and makes a good experience for the student In conclusion, In the present everybody can have a good experience and new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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for
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to
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go to the next part to success.
while
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these receive
form
Correct your spelling
from
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main
Correct article usage
the main
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subject and non-subject.
Submitted by phatkhunnok on

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structure
To improve coherence, focus on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction that outlines your argument, followed by paragraphs each addressing a single main point, and end with a concise conclusion summarizing your viewpoint.
relevance
Ensure your essay stays on topic by directly addressing the prompt throughout. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument, relating specifically to the question of whether non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus.
examples
Enhance your essay by elaborating on examples. Specific instances can effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve overall clarity and coherence. This will help in expressing your ideas more effectively.
content
Acknowledgement of the importance of non-academic subjects to student well-being and skill development.
insight
Attempt to discuss the broader implications of non-academic learning on future opportunities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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