There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education in the present has a diversity and people can choose to learn some groups of parents want to fix of minds of children to study. Everyone has a thinking about that in the school has academic
subjects
only. while
it can make a good way for children. In this
essay, I strongly disagree and I extend the reason in the below paragraph.
Most children in school spend a lot of time learning about the main subject from a teacher. and students
concentrate all the time. It affects students
who have stress in the classroom and pressure from parents. On the one hand, Schools have additional subjects
such
as physical education, cookery, and music. These subjects
can teach new skills to students
. which non-academic subjects
have a good choice for practice to some for part-time. and it makes creative of
thinking in the course.
In the same way, when a student applies to a university. Change preposition
apply
while
non-academic subjects
can help to
Change preposition
apply
students
make something to good in the future. For example
, Students
have soft
Add an article
the soft
skill
to join Fix the agreement mistake
skills
in
several groups in higher education. Some people can go outside with another person and have to keep themselves. Change preposition
apply
Students
make some
a community to create a good Correct quantifier usage
apply
think
for the population. It makes feel good to other people and makes a good experience for the student In conclusion, In the present everybody can have a good experience and new Correct your spelling
thing
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
for
go to the next part to success. Change preposition
to
while
these receive form
Correct your spelling
from
main
subject and non-subject.Correct article usage
the main
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structure
To improve coherence, focus on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction that outlines your argument, followed by paragraphs each addressing a single main point, and end with a concise conclusion summarizing your viewpoint.
relevance
Ensure your essay stays on topic by directly addressing the prompt throughout. Each paragraph should contribute to your overall argument, relating specifically to the question of whether non-academic subjects should be removed from the syllabus.
examples
Enhance your essay by elaborating on examples. Specific instances can effectively illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve overall clarity and coherence. This will help in expressing your ideas more effectively.
content
Acknowledgement of the importance of non-academic subjects to student well-being and skill development.
insight
Attempt to discuss the broader implications of non-academic learning on future opportunities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.