Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Basically, reducing crime is so important for each society because people who are living in a country must save and feel free. There are different types of
crimes
that people will face in the future. Obviously, we should consider some policies to decrease criminal activities.
From my point of view, there are many alternative ways to recognise crimes
and make new practices to protect folks. For example
, being aware from childhood through our family and schools or universities could be an effective way to reduce crimes
. Also
, TV programs and social networks are other options in order to get to know about it.
In my opinion, some believe that giving longer jail sentences helps guilties to realize and punish them. According to
some research, this
issue does not work very well because a person who is in prison gets involved in many other problems such
as being far away from their own family, emotional state troubles, lack of money and so forth. As a result
, society should establish a new structure for reducing crimes
and also
prepare a range of facilities for criminals so that they can make a decent living for themselves and their families.
Taking everything into conclusion, I completely agree that giving prison is useful for a short time. On the other hand
, I think substituted ways can help them to grow rapidly their personality. I believe that making a professional criminal system and using some psychologists help to reduce crimes
.Submitted by payam.nejad62 on
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Introduction
Provide a clearer introduction that directly addresses the essay prompt. Begin by discussing the importance of reducing crime and briefly mention the two differing viewpoints on how to achieve this.
Body Content
Develop your body paragraphs with distinct examples to support your arguments. For the viewpoint you disagree with, provide examples or data that show why longer prison sentences may not be effective. For the alternative methods you support, offer specific examples of how they can reduce crime.
Conclusion
Expand your conclusion to more decisively state your opinion. Summarize both sides of the argument before clearly stating your position and why you think alternative methods are preferable.
Cohesion
Work on creating more cohesive paragraphs. Use connecting words and phrases to link ideas within paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Coherence
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Introduce each paragraph with a topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader.
Content
You have effectively introduced the concept that crime reduction is crucial for societal well-being.
Analysis
You've shown an ability to discuss multiple viewpoints, a key requirement of the task.
Engagement
Your essay reflects a thoughtful consideration of the topic, signaling an engagement with the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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