Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The most debatable argument nationwide is about the transportation system within the country. Many people believe that the government ought to invest their budget in the development of railways rather than on roadways. I totally agree with
this
statement because the trains are faster and more eco-friendly.
To embark on, trains do not deal with congestion as like cars. They are faster and more convenient as they reduce the journey time
which can be used productively to spend time
with family and friends. At this
time
people can read books and do some other significant tasks. For instance
,the Canadian government is spending money on railways to interconnect Toronto and Ottawa to reduce the time
and issues faced by highway traffic while
driving. Moreover
, the opportunity for employment may also
increase with easy travel. To be clear, for instance
, if an individual is not able to find a job in their locality. However
, a nearby town can enhance has
numerous job opportunities. Unnecessary verb
apply
Then
, commuting by train is the best option.
Secondly
, locomotives tend to produce less harmful gases than cars. The carbon emissions are lesser comparatively cars. For example
, new technological advancement states in their report about bullet trains,which run through
electricity might be more helpful in reducing the effect of global warming and Change preposition
on
maintain
a good environment.
Wrong verb form
maintaining
Furthermore
, due to
large compartments train is more spacious than a car or van. It can carry more people in one go. However
, the maximum occupancy in Add an article
the car
a car
car
is five or Fix the agreement mistake
cars
sever
Correct your spelling
seven
seater
.
In conclusion, in my Fix the agreement mistake
seaters
opinion
state authorities should spend more money on railways compared to roadways as they are more convenient and do not deteriorate the ecosystem.Add the comma(s)
opinion,
Submitted by harshitkaur321 on
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development of ideas
Your essay provides a clear standpoint with relevant examples, contributing to a strong task response. However, developing your ideas with deeper analysis could enhance clarity and engagement.
transitions
While your essay has a good logical structure, improving the transitions between paragraphs could make your argument flow more naturally.
vocabulary and sentence variety
Introducing a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary related to the topics might add more sophistication to your writing.
introduction and conclusion
You have effectively presented a clear and relevant introduction and conclusion, solidifying the coherence of your essay.
use of examples
Good use of specific examples to support your arguments, especially the reference to the Canadian government's initiative, which bolsters the task response score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.