A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at art institution or organization as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages .
In the modern era, many higher schools exercise having unpaid
work
at companies
as proportion
of their course has many demerits. Some schools have had mixed results after unpaid internship programmes, so Add an article
a proportion
it is clear that
people
may have diverse ideas about this
issue. Weighing up both sides, I think that there are more upsides that working at companies
as studentstudents brings about.
There are surely a few demerits having
an internship programme that affect their lives. Change preposition
of having
Firstly
, the most remarkable one is that if they are situated socially disadvantaged class, they have part-time jobs
while
they are studying. For example
, in the case of Korea, many students have part-time jobs
to pay their school tuition fees,
and living charges. Remove the comma
apply
Secondly
, another reasonable one is that some people
do not participate well in their jobs
.
In contrast
, there are also
diverse advantages with
Change preposition
to
this
phenomenon. First and foremost, the biggest merit is that when they find their jobs
, they can get jobs
more easily than other people
who don't have any work
experience. Most companies
prefer to hire people
who have work
experience because they already know how to manage the companies
and how2
to deal the problems.
To sum it up, Correct your spelling
how
it is clear that
there is
many advantages to Change the verb form
are
further
school student's work
of not receiving their salaries; in contrast
, there are also
significant disadvantages because it is apparent that students pursue only work
experience , not their income needs to consider many factors before it decides whether this
phenomenon would have a positive effect on society and individuals. Thus
, I strongly believe that there are more benefits than drawbacks.Submitted by wowoo04066 on
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Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This helps to clarify your points and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing a clearer structure within your paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and the sentences should be logically connected to support that idea.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both the advantages and disadvantages more evenly. This will help in providing a more balanced view and fully responding to the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of ideas or phrases. Instead, focus on expanding your points with new information or perspectives.
Task Achievement
You have clearly taken a stance in the conclusion, providing a final evaluation of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay introduces both advantages and disadvantages, showing an effort to cover the task requirement.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, even though they could be further detailed, helps to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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