It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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Due to
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the rapid growth of technology, the world has come a long way
thus
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the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few years . It is irrefutable that travelling plays a significant role in our lives . Travelling plays a part and parcel role in our lives. Travelling not only
help
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helps
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the nation's economy but
also
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help
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helps
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to connect with the beauty of nature , connect with the people , connect with the culture and traditions and many more . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe travelling has a great influence on human society as they help to explore
as well as
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travelling helps the mind development . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion but somewhere
i
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I
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vehemently agreed with the statement . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the matter
as well as
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proffer examples to justify my notion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Specific Examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments better. This will help illustrate your points more clearly and convincingly.
Introduction Clarity
A clear thesis statement in the introduction would help to present your stance more directly to the reader, improving clarity.
Paragraph Development
Developing paragraphs with a focused idea each would improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay. Separate different points into different paragraphs to enhance organization.
Linking Words
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and make the progression of ideas smoother.
Conclusion
Including a clearer conclusion that sums up your arguments would provide a stronger closure to your essay, reinforcing your position on the topic.
Topic Understanding
You successfully identified several dimensions of how travel can impact individuals and society, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Engagement and Passion
Your enthusiasm for the topic comes through in your writing, which helps to engage the reader.
Sentence Variety
Using a variety of sentence structures keeps your essay interesting to read.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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