IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Tourism
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 is one of the
fastest growing
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fastest-growing
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 industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world.
However
Linking Words
, the damage
tourism
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 can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
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 has two opposite sides,the first one can bring sharply increased fields and maintain the
economy
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 among
countries
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,
however
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,the second side of
tourism
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 can bring potential drawbacks to local folks and impact
on
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apply
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the environment poorly. I totally disagree with
this
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 statement that
tourism
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 impacts poorly on the environment and culture
,
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apply
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because
tourism
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 can bring opportunities for
countries
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 to be popular in international areas.
Also
Linking Words
 established wages for hotels and maintained the
economy
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 of the
country
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. First of all,
tourists
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 are an established
economy
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 of many
countries
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 today. They make regular
income
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 to owners of hotels and
this
Linking Words
 maintains the
economy
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 of the
country
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.
Moreover
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,many
countries
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 rely on
tourism
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,which has the highest percentage of
income
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.
For example
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,Turkey is one of the most popular
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country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 for vacation and the
economy
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 of
this
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country
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 in many cases consists of a percentage of
tourists
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.
Furthermore
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, the increase
of
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in
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 tourist numbers can lead to studying
of
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apply
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foreign languages,especially English,German,
Russian
Correct word choice
and Russian
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 which are most popular among
tourists
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 and can upgrade their knowledge of
language
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the language
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 and
are able
Verb problem
enable them
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 to find a second job with ability.
Hence
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, these qualities can lead
countries
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 to have potential
income
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 and establish their name in the international area of travel.
However
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,the opposite side of
this
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 stream can be dangerous to culture and have environmental consequences. Many of the
tourists
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,who have reached their destination, can start to discipline themselves and
this
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 can be the cause of misunderstanding between citizens and foreign people.
For example
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,
the
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in the
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world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
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 in France in 2016,when many supporters came to France and destroyed facilities
such
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 as cafes,restaurants and metros.
This
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 problem consists of two problems with contamination,which were made in
this
Linking Words
country
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 and show the misunderstanding between people who lived in
this
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country
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 and who came to the World Cup.
To sum up
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,
this
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 statement has advantages to economics with the highest percentage of
income
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 and studying of foreign languages,
however
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, it has disadvantages to local green and local culture. In my point of view,despite the disadvantages,these opportunities have potential benefits for the government and
good
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are good
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 for the
economy
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.

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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the prompt by clearly stating your position on the impact of tourism on culture and the environment in both the introduction and conclusion for a stronger statement of your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While your points are connected, more varied transitional phrases could enhance readability and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. You mentioned Turkey's reliance on tourism and the negative impacts of events like the World Cup in France. Elaborating on these examples or adding more can strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more clearly.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view, considering both the positive and negative impacts of tourism, which is excellent for presenting a nuanced argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a good structure with clear paragraphs for each main point, which helps in organizing your essay and making it easier to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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