Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
is one of the fastest growing
industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. Add a hyphen
fastest-growing
However
, the damage tourism
can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tourism
has two opposite sides,the first one can bring sharply increased fields and maintain the economy
among countries
,however
,the second side of tourism
can bring potential drawbacks to local folks and impact on
the environment poorly. I totally disagree with Change preposition
apply
this
statement that tourism
impacts poorly on the environment and culture,
because Remove the comma
apply
tourism
can bring opportunities for countries
to be popular in international areas. Also
established wages for hotels and maintained the economy
of the country
.
First of all, tourists
are an established economy
of many countries
today. They make regular income
to owners of hotels and this
maintains the economy
of the country
. Moreover
,many countries
rely on tourism
,which has the highest percentage of income
. For example
,Turkey is one of the most popular country
for vacation and the Change to a plural noun
countries
economy
of this
country
in many cases consists of a percentage of tourists
. Furthermore
, the increase of
tourist numbers can lead to studying Change preposition
in
of
foreign languages,especially English,German,Change preposition
apply
Russian
which are most popular among Correct word choice
and Russian
tourists
and can upgrade their knowledge of language
and Add an article
the language
are able
to find a second job with ability. Verb problem
enable them
Hence
, these qualities can lead countries
to have potential income
and establish their name in the international area of travel.
However
,the opposite side of this
stream can be dangerous to culture and have environmental consequences. Many of the tourists
,who have reached their destination, can start to discipline themselves and this
can be the cause of misunderstanding between citizens and foreign people. For example
,the
Change preposition
in the
world cup
in France in 2016,when many supporters came to France and destroyed facilities Correct your spelling
World Cup
such
as cafes,restaurants and metros. This
problem consists of two problems with contamination,which were made in this
country
and show the misunderstanding between people who lived in this
country
and who came to the World Cup.
To sum up
, this
statement has advantages to economics with the highest percentage of income
and studying of foreign languages,however
, it has disadvantages to local green and local culture. In my point of view,despite the disadvantages,these opportunities have potential benefits for the government and good
for the Add a missing verb
are good
economy
.Submitted by batirka06 on
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Task Achievement
Be sure to directly address the prompt by clearly stating your position on the impact of tourism on culture and the environment in both the introduction and conclusion for a stronger statement of your viewpoint.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While your points are connected, more varied transitional phrases could enhance readability and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. You mentioned Turkey's reliance on tourism and the negative impacts of events like the World Cup in France. Elaborating on these examples or adding more can strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more clearly.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view, considering both the positive and negative impacts of tourism, which is excellent for presenting a nuanced argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have a good structure with clear paragraphs for each main point, which helps in organizing your essay and making it easier to follow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example