Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Other say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Education is one of the fundamental factors when it comes to forming an individual’s personality. It is stated that it aims to succeed in a person's career, but other
people
think that the studying process limits people
by making them comfortable with the crowd. I, personally, think, study
system only provides Correct article usage
the study
range
of Add an article
a range
knowledges
and answers Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
for
basic questions to educate human beings to understand essential processes.
Nowadays Change preposition
to
people
believe that study system
made by Fix the agreement mistake
systems
governmental
employees put Replace the word
government
people
into thinking frames and pulls
out creativity from the personality. Correct subject-verb agreement
pull
This
tethis
is supported by the success of Correct your spelling
this
people
, who left their universities and schools. For example
, founder
of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, left Standford, and now he is one of Correct article usage
the founder
world's
richest and Correct article usage
the world's
discussed
Correct quantifier usage
most discussed
people
; Bob Marley hadn't even finished school but he become
Wrong verb form
became
famous
artist; and, Add an article
a famous
finally
, hundreds of football player
have never thought about getting bachelor degree, since they started their career at teenage period.
These Fix the agreement mistake
players
all
incredible biographies are the reason for Correct determiner usage
apply
mindset
that studying is Add an article
the mindset
a mindset
absolutely
unnecessary waste of time, Add an article
an absolutely
however
, people
forget the fact, that it is a simple mistake of survived
Change preposition
to survive
one
. I would like to mention millions of unemployed and homeless Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
also
don't have any study degree's
and certificates, Change noun form
degrees
the
fact Correct article usage
a
that is
forgotten. Although
all educated ones are not billionaires, they have home
and stable work and Fix the agreement mistake
homes
salary
. Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
Therefore
, I believe that knowledge provided in schools is supposed to give basics to make people
deliberate and society more developed.
To conclude
, despite that people
can succeed without being limited by education, people
, who have at least essential knowledge, have more chances to achieve some basic targets and be successful.Submitted by zakirova7ez3 on
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logical structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for each idea or view. This will improve the logical flow and make your argument easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Include a clear introduction stating both views and your opinion, and a conclusion summarizing your argument. This will strengthen the overall structure of your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples or evidence. This will add depth to your argument and make it more persuasive.
complete response
Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both views equally before giving your own opinion. This will show a complete understanding of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully to ensure they are comprehensive and clear. This can involve expanding on your examples and explaining their relevance to the topic.
relevant specific examples
Use a wider range of relevant examples to support your argument. This will demonstrate your understanding of the topic and engage the reader.
stance
You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is good for task response.
example usage
You made an effort to use examples, like Mark Zuckerberg, to support your argument. Including more specific details about these examples could enhance your essay further.