IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people like to own the place where they live, but other people like to rent where they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #place #rent
Nowadays, there are various views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
people
 should own or rent the
place
 they live in. Some
people
 think that it is better to own the
place
 they reside in,
while
 some
people
 argue hiring is much more convenient.
Although
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree that
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
show examples
 of renting is appealing to
people
,
İ
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 believe owning the
place
 is the best option. On the one hand,
people
 who think owning the
place
 they live in say it is a kind of investment, helping them to ensure their future.
İt
Correct your spelling
It
 is impossible to foresee what
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 holds, so they consider making sure that they and their offspring will have a
place
 to reside in is crucial.
Moreover
, most
people
 opt for owning a
place
instead
 of renting, to decorate it in the way they want without asking for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
permission from anybody. for
people
 who prefer renting a
place
Add a comma
place,
show examples
 it can be quite tough to refurnish or redecorate the
place
.
On the other hand
, those who choose renting over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
owning the
place
 they live in believe it can be genuinely boring to live in the same
place
 for a long time. Some
people
 , particularly young generations, are looking for
diversitiy
Correct your spelling
diversity
 and they can easily get bored.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
this
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 they can quickly leave the
place
 they live in without thinking about selling their home.
İn
Correct your spelling
In
 my opinion,
while
 both approaches have true sides, it is better to own a
place
.
İ
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 think the idea of being independent is really enticing, making most
people
 opt for owning a
place
.
For instance
,
people
 who possess a home
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more independent and able to make decisions themselves about their apartments or houses. Taking everything into account,
while
 there are diverse approaches about whether
people
 should rent or own a
place
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe owning a
place
 can be a great
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 in order to make an investment and be independent.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Grammar and Accuracy
Be consistent with capitalization, especially with the pronoun 'I' which should always be capitalized.
Vocabulary and Cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of transition phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
Vocabulary
Avoid repetition of phrases that have similar meanings to keep your essay engaging and to demonstrate a broad lexical resource.
Grammar and Accuracy
Ensure accuracy in spelling, particularly with words that might have been mistyped (e.g., 'İ' with the dot above should be 'I').
Grammar
Attempt to include more varied sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range.
Grammar and Punctuation
Be cautious of minor typographical and punctuation errors, as they can somewhat distract from the message you are trying to convey.
Task Response
You clearly discussed both views and provided a reasoned opinion, which directly addresses the task requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion, which aids in its readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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