Nowadays children watch much more television than they did in the past and spend less time on active or creative things. What are the reasons? And what measures should be taken to encourage children to spend more time on active or creative things?

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In
present
Correct article usage
the present

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day
children
Use synonyms

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spends
Change the verb form
spend

The singular verb spends does not appear to agree with the plural subject children. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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more time watching television rather
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then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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d. Nowadays they spend their time in front of a screen doing active and creative things. In the past First and foremost, the main reason for
this
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is the digitalization wave that has affected our society. During these
last
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15
years
Add a comma
years,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase During these last 15 years. Consider adding a comma.

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we have started to do everything on our computers. For
instans
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instance

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, we chat with our friends online, have
work-meetings
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work meetings

The word work-meetings doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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on
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom

The word zoom should be capitalized in this context.

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, read the news on our
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones

It seems that smartphone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and kids even play online. The games and
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities

It seems that activity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on the smartphone
attracts
Change the verb form
attract

It appears that the singular verb attracts does not agree with the plural compound subject The games and activity on the smartphone. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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the
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's

It appears that the word childrens should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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attention, even more
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Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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going out playing does. But is
this
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really the optimal
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way

It seems that ways may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to entertain our
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

? We should encourage our
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to be more active and creative. Studies
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject Studies. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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shown that the effects of a lifestyle in front of a screen leads to a road of
deseases
Correct your spelling
diseases

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,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as,
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight

The word over weight seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, heart
probelms
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problems

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and much more. If we activate our
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more, the risk of these
sickdoms
Correct your spelling
sick dogs

If you don’t want sickdoms to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

would decrease
significant
Change the adjective
significantly

The adjective significant is modifying decrease instead of a noun or pronoun. Use an adverb to modify a verb, adjective, or other adverb.

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. As a
parent
Add a comma
parent,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase As a parent. Consider adding a comma.

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you can easily encourage movement and creativity by signing them up in "clubs". For
instans
Correct your spelling
instance

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, a
soccer-club
Correct your spelling
soccer club

The word soccer-club doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
Correct article usage
a dancing-club
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Correct article usage
a dancing-club

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dancing-club
Correct your spelling
dancing club
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or maybe a
painting-club
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painting club

The word painting-club doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. The effects of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

would be that the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get new
hobbys
Correct your spelling
hobbies

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. They will
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sociolize
Correct your spelling
socialize
socialise

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more than they would
infront
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in front

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of a computer. To summarize,
due to
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the digitalization wave that has affected our
socitiy
Correct your spelling
society

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,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend more time watching television
Linking Words
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than

The word then may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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playing.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has a lot of bad effects on their health. But as a parent
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

much to do for the benefit of your
childrens
Correct your spelling
children's

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well being. By making them join,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a
sportsclub
Correct your spelling
sports club

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, you activate them. The followings of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

will not only be good for their health
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

for their creative side. It is important to encourage them to be active,
insead
Correct your spelling
instead

If you don’t want insead to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of watching television.

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Sentence Structure
Try to provide a wider range of sentence structures to enhance complexity and flow.
Grammar and Spelling
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'children spends' should be 'children spend', 'sickdoms' should be 'diseases') to improve clarity and accuracy.
Examples and Support
Enhance your essay by adding more specific examples and data to support your arguments, which will make your response more comprehensive.
Cohesion
Ensure cohesive devices are used effectively throughout the essay. Transition words could be more varied to create a smoother flow between ideas.
Essay Structure
Consider revisiting how you structure the introduction and conclusion to ensure they effectively frame your essay and summarize key points.
Task Response
You addressed the task directly and presented a clear opinion on the issue.
Vocabulary Usage
Good effort in using a variety of vocabulary to express your ideas.
Content Relevancy
Your essay introduces relevant points of discussion regarding children's lifestyle changes due to digitalization.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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