IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

#world #towns #cities #centuries #people #times
Few
people
 believe that the old buildings which were constructed in the old age period are
prefect
Correct your spelling
perfect
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 living in
this
 world. The main
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 generation are
causing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
often health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
 of living . To avoid
this
 problem
people
 can build a residence with more space and
limiting
Wrong verb form
limit
show examples
 their utilisation
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 automation devices. Starting with the problem point of view, the primary reason why
people
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to live in the previous era is
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to avoid breathing
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 and frequent
rise
Fix the agreement mistake
rises
show examples
 in the
cost
 of living.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days,
people
 are
adapted
Wrong verb form
adapting
show examples
 to the latest technology like air
conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
conditioners
show examples
 and other machines to
controlling
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
 air temperatures.
Furthermore
,
due to
 these automation devices, children
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
 get sick and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 lead to fatal conditions. Apart from that,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
also
 increased rapidly in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years.
Therefore
, the
people
 who live under the
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
 line are suffering a lot to cover
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their living expenses.
For example
, most data scientists
Verb problem
apply
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
found that millionaires percentage
are
Verb problem
of millionaires
show examples
 dropped
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by
show examples
into
Change preposition
by
show examples
half
Add an article
the half
show examples
 when compared to past years.
On the other hand
 with the solution, The public can invest their savings
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the land
instead
 of
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 on
unnecessay
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 items and
also
 they can restrict their dependence on automation gadgets. The public can invest a huge part of their resources
on build
Change preposition
in building
show examples
 a spacious house
instead
 of buying technology, if they build a spacious home,
then
 they can inhale fresh air to the body which helps to prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sickness.
Besides
,
instead
 of buying machines, they can invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 gold,
stock
Correct article usage
the stock
show examples
 market,
mutal
Correct your spelling
mutual
 funds and much more.
As a result
, it will
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them during their retirement period without expecting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
helping hands.
For instance
,
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 financial
Fix the agreement mistake
advisors
show examples
advisor
Fix the agreement mistake
advisors
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that the person who
plan
Change the verb form
plans
show examples
 in advance on
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will be always
Replace the word
secure
show examples
secured
Replace the word
secure
show examples
 in the future. In conclusion,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living and
spend their
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 resources on
unnecessay
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
 items are the main issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 who want to
living
Change the verb
live
show examples
 in the
pervious
Correct your spelling
previous
show examples
 decade.
Instead
 of thinking about the past, they can start
invest
Change the form of the verb
investing
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 valuable items and
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the land, which helps them to create a
brightful
Correct your spelling
bright
 future.
Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on

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task response
Clarify the prompt interpretation. Ensure that your essay directly addresses the given topics, discussing the specific problems caused by living in cities built in previous centuries and offering concrete solutions.
task response
Increase the precision of your argument. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and the examples you use directly support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of sentence structures and transition words to link ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make your arguments clearer.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.
positive feedback
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your essay's main points and provides a clear final statement on the issue.
positive feedback
You've made a good attempt to provide examples, although making them more specific and directly related to the prompt would strengthen your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • housing shortages
  • degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • energy efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • accessibility
  • sustainable urban planning
  • smart city technologies
  • green technology
  • regulations
  • sustainable
  • integrated
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian
  • cycling infrastructure
  • reliance
  • mitigate
What to do next:
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