IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people prefer to stay in the same job for same company, but other prefer to change job frequently. You should use specific reason to compare the advantages and disadvantages of both sides.

Certain individuals choose to be loyal to
one
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company
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. Yet, others would rather switch
jobs
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 often.
This
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 essay will discuss both the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 trend.
One
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 clear advantage is that
people
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 may receive better
roles
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.
This
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 allows
people
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 to get a higher role and keep passionate
while
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 working on projects.
For instance
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, my friends have been doing their best for 5 years working in the same
company
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 to enhance their positions or
roles
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.
Similarly
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, changing
jobs
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 from
one
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 to another companies or projects is
one
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 of the solutions to improve workers' skills and get better experience,
roles
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 and wages,
for example
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,
people
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 may get different
roles
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 in another project or
company
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 and some workers may get a better experience, especially for the youngsters.
However
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, a disadvantage is that
people
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 may easily bored with their job,
due to
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 they are doing the same project for a long time.
This
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 might lead to decreased performance and passion.
For example
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, my dad doing the same project for almost 4 years and his performance dropped dramatically and mentally unstable,
due to
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 the workload and do the same thing.
Likewise
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, switching careers is not always good, especially for young
people
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.
This
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 may cause trust issues for the
company
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, every
company
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 need their workers to be loyal.
For example
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, my cousin 3-time change his
jobs
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, and
then
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, he tries to apply to a big
company
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, but he does not pass the interview because the
company
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 do not trust his loyalty. In conclusion, staying in the same job or switching
jobs
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 frequently has both positive and negative sides.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your arguments. This can help strengthen your points and show a deeper understanding of the subject.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to minimize grammatical errors and use more varied sentence structures to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic, and you provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You made relevant points about the pros and cons of job loyalty and frequent job changes, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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