Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while other think that good working atmosphere is more important, Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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What is more
worth
Correct pronoun usage
worth it
show examples
?
Correct pronoun usage
it?
show examples
A good working
atmosphere
or a high
salary
? Some
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
think having more
money
and less
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
is better than earning less
money
and having more free
time
. There are pros and cons of both of the options.
According to
me it is
glas
Correct your spelling
not
clear what is more important. On one hand,
money
leads to a more "free" spare
time
. With a high
salary
Add a comma
salary,
show examples
you can afford expensive
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
when you are off
work
.
For instance
, you have the
posebilites
Correct your spelling
possibilities
to go on fancy vacations, eat at expensive
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
and take your friends on
luxierus
Correct your spelling
luxurious
events. If you have less free
time
but a higher
salary
you can afford to make all your spare
time
expensive and valuable.
On the other hand
, working in an
atmosphere
you love, makes you not even remember that you
work
for the
money
. As an example, the old firm I was
hierd
Correct your spelling
hired
at, I did forget about the
money
I made. When the
salary
came
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
my account I just saw it as a
bouns
Correct your spelling
bonus
show examples
,
sience
Correct your spelling
since
I liked working there so much. When I was off duty I missed being at the office. My
work
and
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues
became my free
time
.
However
, the tasks
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
not the best. If it was not for the great
atmosphere
, I would not like to
work
for more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
a day. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
money
is important but if the workplace, itself, is not nice, it is not worth it.
To conclude
, a high
salary
is very attractive, but if you hate the
atmosphere
at the company, you will spend all day looking forward to the end of the day. In
comparsion
Correct your spelling
comparison
with a great working place, where you do not even think about the fact that you
work
. If you love your
work
and the people you are
surounded
Correct your spelling
surrounded
by,
then
it might be worth a lower income.
However
,
this
was my personal
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
concussion
of my
work
experience. If you hate your job, you will not be able to
appuciate
Correct your spelling
appreciate
your spare
time
and the
money
you make, you will be busy having
axciety
Correct your spelling
anxiety
about your
work
.
Submitted by clara.m.schafer on

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Language accuracy
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Structure
Using paragraph breaks to separate your ideas can make your argument clearer and easier for the reader to follow.
Argument Development
Make sure to address both sides of the argument fully before giving your own opinion. This ensures your essay fully responds to all parts of the task.
Use of personal example
You effectively shared your personal experience to support your point of view, making your argument more persuasive.
Conclusion strength
Your conclusion summarizes your argument well, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
Introduction clarity
The introduction sets up the essay's topic clearly and engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • career advancement
  • professional development
  • networking
  • quality of life
  • work-life balance
  • mental health
  • job satisfaction
  • positive work environment
  • valued and supported
  • loyalty to company
  • long-term commitment
  • stress levels
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