Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is being argued that professional workers including

doctors

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and

teachers

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must receive higher payment as compared to athletes and

entertainers

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This

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essay,

however

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, strongly agrees with

this

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statement because professionals like

doctors

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and

teachers

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have limited chances to do more for extra money and sports and entertainment personalities have

opportunities

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to earn more payment by doing other activities. On the one hand, professionals like

doctors

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and

teachers

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are regarded as important persons to society and they must engage in their main activities

such

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as giving treatment to patients and teaching students in educational institutions.

That is

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to say, they have limited but compulsory tasks in their schedule which are the first and foremost duties.

Consequently

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, they have no

opportunities

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to make extra money by conducting other jobs.

For instance

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, in many hospitals

doctors

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are extremely busy because huge numbers of patients come there for better treatment and the same scenario applies to

teachers

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as they are busy with teaching students, administrative and research activities.

On the other hand

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, athletes and

entertainers

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have enough chances to get more pay even though they are provided with regular salaries.

In other words

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, sportsmen might get

opportunities

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to play with different clubs and

entertainers

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like musicians can be hired for concerts that allow them to earn a substantial amount of money.

For example

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, many footballers like Cristiano Ronaldo are hired by different football clubs and musicians

such

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as Katy Perry are contracted throughout the year for different cultural functions that help them to make more wages as opposed to other professionals. In conclusion, I strongly support the statement that professional personalities

such

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doctors

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and

teachers

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should be provided more salary because they do not have

opportunities

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for extra payment and lots of chances to earn more for sportsmen and

entertainers

Use synonyms

mohammad39Thu Apr 18 2024

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Task Achievement

Your essay strongly conveyed your opinion throughout, which is commendable. Try expanding on your examples to elaborate how they support your argument, which can make your response more comprehensive.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of your essay is good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider connecting your ideas more fluidly between paragraphs.

Task Achievement

You have a clear stance throughout your essay, which is excellent for task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are effective at framing your essay's argument, contributing positively to the coherence and cohesion of your piece.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Professional workers
Societal contribution
Scarcity
Market forces
Consumer demand
Role models
Economic impact
Revenue generation
Fair compensation
Social equity
Intrinsic rewards
Job satisfaction
Media rights
Merchandise sales
Public figures

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Some people believe that professional workers such as doctors and teachers should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

a growing number of people feel that animal should not be exploited while other argue humans must employ animals for research and foods. discuss both views

Some children spend hours everday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

You took your family to a nearby restaurant.you were disapointed with the meal and wish to complain to the manager. Write a letter to the manager of the restaurant.