Countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People have different views about helping weaker territories with the advanced ones. It is believed that rather than aiding by providing payments, they have an opportunity to cater to other support for taking them to a better position. I completely agree with the
last
Linking Words
statement. On the one hand, nowadays numerous states do not have enough money suffering a lot of problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, in these regions, they can have a lack of quality medicine and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
even a simple flu can lead to death. To solve
this
Linking Words
issue richer countries may aid poorer ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, financial assistance is not the best option.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
assistance by money has a chance to fall into the wrong hands. It is possible that currency will be put into the pockets of corrupt officials.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the help can be used for other purposes.
Instead
Linking Words
of various useful projects for the development of the economy,
this
Linking Words
payment may be used to promote terrorism.
In addition
Linking Words
, the financial backing cannot go to priority projects. To illustrate it, region X has awful health care. In lieu of improving
this
Linking Words
area, the government invests money in road construction etc.. Eventually, residents will get lazy and will not work relying only on the support of more developed states. The best way to help poor lands is by opening good education institutions, and good health centres and creating job opportunities for citizens of weak regions. If they start earning well, their level of life will definitely become richer. To put it in a nutshell, I strongly agree that aiding budgets for places facing economic difficulties is greatly essential.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, rich states should provide practical help to improve the economic situation of developing territories.
Submitted by Tlembekova09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Try to refine the introduction to make the thesis clearer and more concise. It's important to state your position in a straightforward manner.
Support
Expand on your points with more specific examples to give stronger support to your arguments. Well-chosen examples can illustrate your points better.
Transitions
Improve the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to ensure your essay flows more smoothly. Clear signposting will enhance coherence.
Grammar
Carefully proofread for minor grammatical issues, and consider sentence structure to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
You've effectively addressed the task and provided relevant arguments on both sides of the issue.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which contribute to a well-organized structure.
Coherence/Cohesion
The points you raised are logical and present a balanced viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: