in some countries, the difference inage between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is pivotal true that many parts of the world have an increasing generation gap among the
guradians
Correct your spelling
guardians

If you don’t want guradians to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and their kids as compared to the past.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement has some praiseworthy points, the disadvantages are overwhelming and prevail over the merits. On the one hand, older
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spend more years in the workforce,
are
Correct word choice
and are

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
likely to have a more secure financial footing before giving birth to a child. The prime reason
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is that they want to raise their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in a more
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially

If you don’t want finacially to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and emotionally stable environment.
As a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children

It seems that child may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
have
higher
Add an article
a higher

The noun phrase higher quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
quality of
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
life in future having better educational opportunities too.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, older
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have a more mature outlook on life and parenting, which can lead to a more nurturing and stable upbringing for
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they may possess greater patience and wisdom,
those
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
are advantageous in child-rearing. On the flip side,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have much age gap
as
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
comparison to their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it
possess
Verb problem
poses

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
some challenges too.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

communication
gap
Fix the agreement mistake
gaps

It seems that gap may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences

It seems that difference may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in perspectives, It might be harder to relate to each other's
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences

It seems that experience may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and viewpoints, leading to
misunderstanding
Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings

It seems that misunderstanding may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
or conflicts.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
matured
Replace the word
mature

The word matured doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules

It seems that schedule may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to handle all things
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

young
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

want some time from them for their
day
Replace the word
daily

The word day doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
happenings.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

health
Correct article usage
the health

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
challenges of
matured
Replace the word
mature

The word matured doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

impact on
family-dynamics
Correct your spelling
dynamics

The word family-dynamics doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
and the parent-child relationship.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

:
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
Add an article
the child
a child

The noun phrase child seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
always
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject child. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
concerns about their
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issues
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as they could not participate in
physical
Change the word
physically

Physical seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
demading
Correct your spelling
demanding

If you don’t want demading to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

activities, or having anxiety about
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

show examples
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

'
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as they age. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are some significant and unquestionable advantages, It
put
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative

The noun phrase negative impact seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
impact on their mental
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and well-being.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I am convinced that their cons outweigh the pros.
Submitted by deepnimrat553 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Range and Accuracy
Try to include a more varied range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and fluency of your arguments.
Task Response Balance
Ensure a balance in the development of advantages and disadvantages, providing equally detailed exploration and examples for both sides.
Use of Examples
Enhance your essay with more specific examples that vividly illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more compelling and grounded in real-life scenarios.
Transitional Phrasing
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Words or phrases that signal contrasts, comparisons, or conclusions can be particularly useful.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that restates your main argument, contributing to a good overall structure.
Content Relevance
Your key points are relevant and generally well-supported, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.
Paragraph Organization
The paragraphs are well-organized, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financially stable
  • emotionally stable
  • workforce
  • quality of life
  • educational opportunities
  • mature outlook
  • nurturing
  • stable upbringing
  • communication gaps
  • health challenges
  • family dynamics
  • physically demanding
  • anxiety
  • emotional and financial strain
  • mental health and well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: