IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

in some countries, the difference inage between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is pivotal true that many parts of the world have an increasing generation gap among the
guradians
Correct your spelling
guardians
 and their kids as compared to the past.
Although
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this
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 statement has some praiseworthy points, the disadvantages are overwhelming and prevail over the merits. On the one hand, older
parents
Use synonyms
 spend more years in the workforce,
are
Correct word choice
and are
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 likely to have a more secure financial footing before giving birth to a child. The prime reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
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 is that they want to raise their
children
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 in a more
finacially
Correct your spelling
financially
 and emotionally stable environment.
As a consequence
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,
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 quality of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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life in future having better educational opportunities too.
In addition
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 to
this
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, older
parents
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 have a more mature outlook on life and parenting, which can lead to a more nurturing and stable upbringing for
children
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.
consequently
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, they may possess greater patience and wisdom,
those
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 are advantageous in child-rearing. On the flip side,
parents
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 have much age gap
as
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in
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 comparison to their
children
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,
then
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 it
possess
Verb problem
poses
show examples
 some challenges too.
Firstly
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,
due to
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 communication
gap
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gaps
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 and
difference
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differences
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 in perspectives, It might be harder to relate to each other's
experience
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experiences
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 and viewpoints, leading to
misunderstanding
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misunderstandings
show examples
 or conflicts.
For instance
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,
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
parents
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 have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 busy
schedule
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schedules
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 to handle all things
whereas
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 young
children
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 want some time from them for their
day
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daily
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 happenings.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
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health
Correct article usage
the health
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 challenges of
matured
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mature
show examples
parents
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also
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 impact on
family-dynamics
Correct your spelling
dynamics
show examples
 and the parent-child relationship.
For example
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:
Add an article
the child
a child
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child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 always
have
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has
show examples
 concerns about their
health
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 issues
such
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 as they could not participate in
physical
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physically
show examples
demading
Correct your spelling
demanding
 activities, or having anxiety about
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
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'
health
Use synonyms
 as they age. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some significant and unquestionable advantages, It
put
Verb problem
has
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negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
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 impact on their mental
health
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 and well-being.
Thus
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, I am convinced that their cons outweigh the pros.

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Language Range and Accuracy
Try to include a more varied range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and fluency of your arguments.
Task Response Balance
Ensure a balance in the development of advantages and disadvantages, providing equally detailed exploration and examples for both sides.
Use of Examples
Enhance your essay with more specific examples that vividly illustrate your points. This helps to make your argument more compelling and grounded in real-life scenarios.
Transitional Phrasing
Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them to improve the logical flow of your arguments. Words or phrases that signal contrasts, comparisons, or conclusions can be particularly useful.
Introduction and Conclusion
You have a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that restates your main argument, contributing to a good overall structure.
Content Relevance
Your key points are relevant and generally well-supported, demonstrating a good understanding of the essay topic.
Paragraph Organization
The paragraphs are well-organized, and each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financially stable
  • emotionally stable
  • workforce
  • quality of life
  • educational opportunities
  • mature outlook
  • nurturing
  • stable upbringing
  • communication gaps
  • health challenges
  • family dynamics
  • physically demanding
  • anxiety
  • emotional and financial strain
  • mental health and well-being
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