It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages.

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Decision-making is one of the crucial things for peoples’ both professional and private lives. Some argue that they are better to take
risks
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in these situations,
while
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others disagree with it. I personally believe that individuals are faced with more downsides than merits, and I will explain why it is
occured
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occurred
in
this
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essay.
Firstly
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, since getting huge returns requires massive
risks
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, they cannot get a big amount of profits if they hardly take
risks
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.
For example
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, investment is a business which allows investors to earn a lot.
However
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, they frequently fight with huge
risks
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every day, which might lose all of their assets in a day.
Thus
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, for some who do not have enough resources to invest, the size of
budget
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the budget
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is too large,
in other words
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, the downside is too huge.
Moreover
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,
it
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there
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is no doubt that the future is unclear and unknown, so it is quite risky to spend a lot of money and resources on the future.
For instance
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, purchasing a house is obviously one of taking
risks
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since the total price cannot normally be paid at once because of financial reasons.
Therefore
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, the fee becomes a debt, and if they cannot make enough money to pay it all in the future, they will be
bankrupts
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bankrupt
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.
In contrast
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, they only need to pay
a
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apply
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monthly rent when living in a flat. To summarise, there are
the
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apply
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two typical cons when people take
risks
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which are too massive for them.
Thus
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, I personally claim that the downsides of taking
risks
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outweigh the pros of it.
Submitted by ryoga17.0325 on

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task response
Try to develop your argument more fully by exploring both sides of the discussion. While your position is clear, examining the opposing viewpoint could enrich your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, however, consequently) to improve the flow of your essay.
task response
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Your examples are relevant but expanding on them could make your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You provided a clear stance on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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