IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages.

This
Linking Words
 essay argues that despite certain drawbacks, the benefits of residing in large
apartment
Use synonyms
complexes
Use synonyms
 within densely populated urban areas outweigh the negatives. The primary advantage lies in maximizing space utilization. By constructing vertically, cities can accommodate a larger population within a smaller footprint, preserving land for vital public infrastructure and communal spaces.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these buildings are often strategically located in city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, affording residents convenient access to employment opportunities, educational institutions, healthcare facilities, and efficient public transportation systems.
This
Linking Words
 accessibility contributes significantly to an enhanced quality of life. Modern
apartment
Use synonyms
complexes
Use synonyms
 frequently offer shared amenities
such
Linking Words
 as security systems, fitness
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and parking facilities, enhancing safety and comfort for residents
while
Linking Words
 remaining more cost-effective than individual homes with comparable features.
Apartment
Use synonyms
 living
also
Linking Words
 cultivates a sense of community through interactions in common areas.
However
Linking Words
, high-density living presents certain challenges. Privacy can be compromised
due to
Linking Words
 thin walls and close proximity to
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
. Noise pollution, limited personal outdoor space, and inadequate storage are common concerns. Overcrowding can exacerbate issues like pollution, waste management difficulties, and social tension.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the quality of maintenance and management varies considerably across different buildings. Poorly managed
complexes
Use synonyms
 may experience neglect, resulting in deteriorating conditions and diminished property values. Evacuation from high-rise buildings during emergencies
such
Linking Words
 as fires or earthquakes presents additional safety concerns. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 acknowledging the disadvantages inherent in high-density living, particularly regarding privacy and space constraints, the advantages of efficient land use, access to urban amenities, and shared facilities make large
apartment
Use synonyms
complexes
Use synonyms
 a more beneficial housing solution for urban environments. With effective planning and management practices,
apartment
Use synonyms
 living can offer a sustainable approach to addressing urban housing challenges.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your points are well-structured and logical, consider incorporating more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, referencing a specific city could provide a relatable context for your stated benefits and drawbacks.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay flows well and the ideas are logically sequenced. However, using more varied linking words and phrases could improve the transitions between paragraphs, making the connections between your ideas even clearer.
content
You effectively present a balanced view, acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of apartment living.
structure
Your introduction clearly states your position on the issue and outlines the main points you intend to discuss, which provides a strong foundation for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: