IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people believe that it is best to live and work in high-rise buildings, while others believe that horizontal cities are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #buildings #cities
First,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
 talk about living in high-rise buildings. It has benefits
such
 as cheaper
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
,
quieter
Correct word choice
and quieter
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 and better security services, but in
return
Add a comma
return,
show examples
 it is not safe when fires and explosions occur and we cannot promptly respond when it
occurs
Verb problem
apply
show examples
suddenly
appeared
Wrong verb form
appears
show examples
.
Next,
go back to live in the horizontal building. It has the benefit of being surrounded by many neighbors to help each other when
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 or to easily get in and out of activities. But there is
also
 a disadvantage when houses do not have security, even making it easy for criminals to sneak in and out to steal things
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
threaten family members or
disturbed
Add a missing verb
be disturbed
show examples
 by noises around the place when there is a party.
Overall
, living anywhere has its pros and cons. But in my opinion, I believe that living in horizontal cities is better because it makes it easier for me to live and brings many benefits to myself.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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introduction conclusion
A clear introduction and conclusion structure enhances your essay. Consider starting with a brief introduction summarizing both views and your position, and end with a concise conclusion reflecting on your opinion.
examples
Provide specific examples to strengthen your argument. Using real-life examples or statistics can make your points more persuasive and impactful.
coherence
Transition phrases can help improve the flow between sections. Phrases like 'On the other hand,' or 'Additionally,' can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
paragraph structure
Uniform paragraph structure aids clarity. Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples, and finishes with a concise summary or link to the next idea.
balanced argument
You've effectively discussed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
topic understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, addressing both high-rise and horizontal living arrangements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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