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Writing Samples
Band 6

The maps below show the changes that have taken place in Meadowside village and Fonton, a neighbouring town, since 1962.

The maps below show the changes that have taken place in Meadowside village and Fonton, a neighbouring town, since 1962.
#maps #show #changes #place #meadowside #village #fonton #town
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The three different diagrams indicate Meadowside town and Fonton, a neighbouring village layout and how it has changed for the years 1962,1985, and the present. By comparing the three maps,
it is clear that
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 place has undergone diverse development
along with
Linking Words
 improvements which
includes
Change the verb form
include
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 the construction of a new hotel, a business park, and a supermarket. Before the development, in 1962, the layout of the village seemed very simple and underdeveloped
while
Linking Words
 in 1985, two roads were added and a leisure complex entre built near the road. Next to the leisure building, a housing area was built and across the
street
Add a comma
street,
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 we can see a store. By looking at the
last
Linking Words
 diagram,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 diverse infrastructure had
built
Add a missing verb
been built
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 ,
for instance
Linking Words
, a
hoteland
Correct your spelling
hotel
 a station, and a park.The hotel and station are located centre of the village and
business
Correct article usage
the business
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 park is
sited
Verb problem
situated in
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 the south part of the map.
In addition
Linking Words
, one more train road has
built
Add a missing verb
been built
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the area was entirely expanded.
Submitted by wowoo04066 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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