Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, travelling has been becoming rapidly more common than before. It can bring some benefits
on
Change preposition
to
individual
and society. Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Furthermore
, it can influence on
Change preposition
apply
people
's pyhsical
mentality and their general Correct your spelling
physical
knowledge
.
There are two vital effects of travelling becoming more popular. First of all is that
in recent years, Verb problem
,
people
spend much much less time on theirselves
because of their Correct your spelling
themselves
shift's
hours. Meanwhile, they might want to Change noun form
shift
some
spare Add a missing verb
have some
times
with their peers or relatives to reduce their work stress. Fix the agreement mistake
time
For instance
, workers may have free time for the weekend and they can easily arrange a forest trip with their friends to not think any
occupation Change preposition
of any
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
As a result
, travelling could help people
to feel more relax
by fun.
Wrong verb form
relaxed
Secondly
, travellers might gain a lot of experince
during their trip. Every different Correct your spelling
experience
places
Change to a singular noun
place
have
several histories about Correct subject-verb agreement
has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
cultural
. Replace the word
culture
Furthermore
, people
can learn new knowledge
more effective
when they Change the word
effectively
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoyed
about
information. Change preposition
apply
For example
, people
may want to visit abroad to know diverse cultur
or different Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
lifes
. It can be more Correct your spelling
lives
benefical
if Correct your spelling
beneficial
they
willing to get more Add a verb
they are
they were
knowledge
. As a result
, travelling can influence people
to have more information by fun.
In conclusion, travelling has a lot of positive effects on community
. Individuals might Add an article
the community
would
like to travel to Remove a modal verb
apply
decline
their stress and have general Verb problem
reduce
knowledge
for theirselves
.Correct your spelling
themselves
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Introduction/Conclusion Structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topics you will discuss. A more distinct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Vocabulary & Spelling
Use more precise vocabulary and check for spelling, such as 'themselves' instead of 'theirselves', and 'physically and mentally' rather than 'pyhsical mentality'.
Sentence Structure
Implement variety in sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling and to keep the reader engaged.
Supporting Details
Try to develop your paragraphs with more detailed examples and more in-depth analysis of how travelling provides benefits, to create a stronger argument.
Relevance to Topic
You've made relevant points about the benefits of traveling, connecting it to stress reduction and gaining knowledge, which directly responds to the essay question.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of your essay is good, with clear separation between paragraphs and an attempt to cover both aspects of the question.
Use of Examples
Including specific examples, such as weekend trips or visiting abroad to learn about different cultures, helps support your main points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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