Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, travelling has been becoming rapidly more common than before. It can bring some benefits
on
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to
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individual
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individuals
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and society.
Furthermore
, it can influence
on
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apply
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people
's
pyhsical
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physical
mentality and their general
knowledge
. There are two vital effects of travelling becoming more popular. First of all
is that
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,
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in recent years,
people
spend much much less time on
theirselves
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themselves
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because of their
shift's
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shift
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hours. Meanwhile, they might want to
some
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have some
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spare
times
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time
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with their peers or relatives to reduce their work stress.
For instance
, workers may have free time for the weekend and they can easily arrange a forest trip with their friends to not think
any
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of any
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occupation
problem
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problems
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.
As a result
, travelling could help
people
to feel more
relax
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relaxed
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by fun.
Secondly
, travellers might gain a lot of
experince
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experience
during their trip. Every different
places
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place
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have
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has
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several histories about
their
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its
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cultural
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culture
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.
Furthermore
,
people
can learn new
knowledge
more
effective
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effectively
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when they
having
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apply
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enjoy
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enjoyed
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about
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apply
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information.
For example
,
people
may want to visit abroad to know diverse
cultur
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cultures
culture
or different
lifes
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lives
show examples
. It can be more
benefical
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beneficial
if
they
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they are
they were
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willing to get more
knowledge
.
As a result
, travelling can influence
people
to have more information by fun. In conclusion, travelling has a lot of positive effects on
community
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the community
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. Individuals might
would
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apply
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like to travel to
decline
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reduce
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their stress and have general
knowledge
for
theirselves
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themselves
show examples
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Introduction/Conclusion Structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topics you will discuss. A more distinct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Vocabulary & Spelling
Use more precise vocabulary and check for spelling, such as 'themselves' instead of 'theirselves', and 'physically and mentally' rather than 'pyhsical mentality'.
Sentence Structure
Implement variety in sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling and to keep the reader engaged.
Supporting Details
Try to develop your paragraphs with more detailed examples and more in-depth analysis of how travelling provides benefits, to create a stronger argument.
Relevance to Topic
You've made relevant points about the benefits of traveling, connecting it to stress reduction and gaining knowledge, which directly responds to the essay question.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of your essay is good, with clear separation between paragraphs and an attempt to cover both aspects of the question.
Use of Examples
Including specific examples, such as weekend trips or visiting abroad to learn about different cultures, helps support your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements
  • transportation technology
  • budget airlines
  • airfare
  • globalization
  • interconnected
  • cultural exchange
  • monotony
  • personal growth
  • open-mindedness
  • adaptability
  • immersion
  • experiential learning
  • global awareness
  • firsthand knowledge
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