Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, travelling has been becoming rapidly more common than before. It can bring some benefits
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and society.
Furthermore
, it can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
's
pyhsical
Correct your spelling
physical
mentality and their general
knowledge
. There are two vital effects of travelling becoming more popular. First of all
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
in recent years,
people
spend much much less time on
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
because of their
shift's
Change noun form
shift
show examples
hours. Meanwhile, they might want to
some
Add a missing verb
have some
show examples
spare
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
with their peers or relatives to reduce their work stress.
For instance
, workers may have free time for the weekend and they can easily arrange a forest trip with their friends to not think
any
Change preposition
of any
show examples
occupation
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
As a result
, travelling could help
people
to feel more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
by fun.
Secondly
, travellers might gain a lot of
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
during their trip. Every different
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
several histories about
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
people
can learn new
knowledge
more
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
when they
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoyed
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
information.
For example
,
people
may want to visit abroad to know diverse
cultur
Correct your spelling
cultures
culture
or different
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. It can be more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
if
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
willing to get more
knowledge
.
As a result
, travelling can influence
people
to have more information by fun. In conclusion, travelling has a lot of positive effects on
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. Individuals might
would
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
like to travel to
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
their stress and have general
knowledge
for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion Structure
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the topics you will discuss. A more distinct thesis statement could enhance clarity.
Vocabulary & Spelling
Use more precise vocabulary and check for spelling, such as 'themselves' instead of 'theirselves', and 'physically and mentally' rather than 'pyhsical mentality'.
Sentence Structure
Implement variety in sentence structures to make your arguments more compelling and to keep the reader engaged.
Supporting Details
Try to develop your paragraphs with more detailed examples and more in-depth analysis of how travelling provides benefits, to create a stronger argument.
Relevance to Topic
You've made relevant points about the benefits of traveling, connecting it to stress reduction and gaining knowledge, which directly responds to the essay question.
Logical Structure
The overall structure of your essay is good, with clear separation between paragraphs and an attempt to cover both aspects of the question.
Use of Examples
Including specific examples, such as weekend trips or visiting abroad to learn about different cultures, helps support your main points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advancements
  • transportation technology
  • budget airlines
  • airfare
  • globalization
  • interconnected
  • cultural exchange
  • monotony
  • personal growth
  • open-mindedness
  • adaptability
  • immersion
  • experiential learning
  • global awareness
  • firsthand knowledge
What to do next:
Look at other essays: