IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

These days many people prefer online shopping to conventional shopping. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Nowadays, a common trend occurring frequently in society is people tend to do online shopping
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 go shopping.
This
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 essay will argue that the benefits of online shopping
offered
Verb problem
apply
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greatly outweigh any and all drawbacks. One of the main beneficial aspects of online shopping is its convenience. Via online space,
seller
Add an article
the seller
a seller
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 can browse products and
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
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buyer
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers
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 can make a purchase
Change preposition
of
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to
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of
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vast
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a vast
the vast
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 range of goods and brands that may not be
locally
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local
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. Another significant advantage of online shopping is
how
Correct word choice
that
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they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can save time not just for the seller but
also
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the
Change preposition
for the
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 consumer. People can stay
on
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in
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 the networking space where various sellers offer their products
then
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 they just need to choose what they want to buy. Shopping from mobile apps is a convenient luxury. Whether you’re homebound or able to visit a store, shopping from your phone is a uniquely awesome experience. Take Black Friday as an example,
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
costumers
Correct your spelling
customers
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 access the digital storefront to sell and buy goods from
far
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a far
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 distance.
On the other hand
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, online transactions involve sharing personal and financial information, which poses security risks. Online shopping has been known to potentially lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack of personal security.
In other words
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, the amount of information that each person presents online will cause a detrimental effect, which
lead
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leads
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 to the dangerous side
to
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of
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 their private information.
Moreover
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, the quality and quantities of those items can be low
due to
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 some counterfeit its.
To sum up
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, online shopping offers significant upsides from flexibility,
convenience
Correct word choice
and convenience
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 long to
time saving
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time-saving
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 and becoming more cost-effective, which easily outweighs the
drawback
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drawbacks
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 of
potential
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the potential
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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fraud and lack of privacy.

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Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Organize your ideas logically and make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea.
Examples
Include more specific examples and details to substantiate your arguments. This enhances the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.
Grammar
Review the usage of articles ('a', 'the') and plural forms in your writing to ensure accuracy.
Word Choice
Be cautious with word choice to avoid repetition and enhance the richness of your language.
Balance
Your essay presents a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages effectively.
Structure
You have a good grasp of essay structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
Clarity
You've communicated your ideas clearly, making the essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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