Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are university become more competitive? Is this positive or negative development

Nowadays, the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
serious issue.
This
writer will discuss the reason that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the competition is globalization and I believe that the consequences will be wholly positive that
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
the talent of
Add an article
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. It must be understood that the development of cities
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
impact
Correct article usage
an impact
show examples
on the
after generation
Add a hyphen
after-generation
show examples
.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
demands the quality of each
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
which is suitable for global to improve their jobs or their companies.
This
is especially
if
Correct word choice
true if
show examples
teenagers want to have a good opportunity
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in the future, they have to work hard to be better than others.
For instance
, people who apply for Starbucks need to have
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
degree and have 7.0
Ielts
Correct your spelling
IELTS
show examples
. Another argument worth considering is that the studies improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge and social skills after
battle
Change the verb form
battling
show examples
with rivals in the competition which was organized by the connective of universities. Having
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
notice
Wrong verb form
noticed
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the competitions, it is a time for students to prepare their knowledge,
spend
Correct word choice
and spend
show examples
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence when they
battling
Wrong verb form
battle
show examples
.
As a result
, their social
sill
Correct your spelling
skills
show examples
can be improved and the increasing of universities fame. It is a true example in Korea, the university war is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
program
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
teenagers from top schools all over the world
are fighting
Wrong verb form
fight
show examples
and
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
show their intelligence
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are
clean
Correct your spelling
clear
show examples
benefits to teenagers to show their talent and the development famous and the quality of education in schools.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Be sure to directly answer both questions posed. While your essay touches on the reasons for increased competition and mentions positive outcomes, expanding on how these developments specifically influence universities and society would strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to provide clearer, distinct paragraphs for each main idea with topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support your points. The Starbucks reference is a good start, but additional, detailed examples related to university competition specifically would be helpful.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context for the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your argument, reinforcing the positive outlook on university competition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: