IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Competition for university study is becoming increasingly strong. Why are university become more competitive? Is this positive or negative development

#competition #university #study #development
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Nowadays, the increasing
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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competition between
the
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apply
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universities is
the
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a
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 serious issue.
This
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 writer will discuss the reason that
make
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makes
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 the competition is globalization and I believe that the consequences will be wholly positive that
show
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shows
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 the talent of
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the student
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student
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students
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. It must be understood that the development of cities
is
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has
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impact
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an impact
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 on the
after generation
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after-generation
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.
The society
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Society
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 demands the quality of each
people
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person
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 which is suitable for global to improve their jobs or their companies.
This
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 is especially
if
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true if
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 teenagers want to have a good opportunity
for
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them
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apply
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in the future, they have to work hard to be better than others.
For instance
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, people who apply for Starbucks need to have
bachelor's
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a bachelor's
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 degree and have 7.0
Ielts
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IELTS
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. Another argument worth considering is that the studies improve
the
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apply
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knowledge and social skills after
battle
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battling
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 with rivals in the competition which was organized by the connective of universities. Having
the
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apply
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notice
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noticed
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about
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the competitions, it is a time for students to prepare their knowledge,
spend
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and spend
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 time
for
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practicing
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practising
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 to have
a
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confidence when they
battling
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battle
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.
As a result
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, their social
sill
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skills
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 can be improved and the increasing of universities fame. It is a true example in Korea, the university war is
the
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a
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 program
which
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in which
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 teenagers from top schools all over the world
are fighting
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fight
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 and
will
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apply
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show their intelligence
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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. In conclusion, there are more positive elements than negative, as there are
clean
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clear
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 benefits to teenagers to show their talent and the development famous and the quality of education in schools.
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Task Response
Be sure to directly answer both questions posed. While your essay touches on the reasons for increased competition and mentions positive outcomes, expanding on how these developments specifically influence universities and society would strengthen your response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to provide clearer, distinct paragraphs for each main idea with topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support your points. The Starbucks reference is a good start, but additional, detailed examples related to university competition specifically would be helpful.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear context for the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your argument, reinforcing the positive outlook on university competition.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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