Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, We are living in the era of technology and one of the most technological

trend

Change to a plural noun

trends

show examples

is the cell phone.

While

Linking Words

some people people argue that

childten

Correct your spelling

children

should be prohibited from using their

phones

Use synonyms

during school days, others

advocated

Wrong verb form

advocate

show examples

that

phones

Use synonyms

should be

Change preposition

apply

show examples

available for

children

Use synonyms

. From my point of view , I totally agree that

students

Use synonyms

should not be allowed to use their mobiles in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school days. For those who

are agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

that

children

Use synonyms

should not use their telephones during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school days ,

a varied reasons

Correct the article-noun agreement

varied reasons

a varied reason

show examples

supported

Wrong verb form

support

show examples

this

Linking Words

idea.

Firstly

Linking Words

phones

Use synonyms

may cause distribution and prevent

students

Use synonyms

from being

consentration

Correct your spelling

concentration

during the class.

That

Linking Words

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

mean

Replace the word

means

show examples

children

Use synonyms

will be busy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

looking at their

phones

Use synonyms

and they lose their focus

Change preposition

show examples

the lessons.

For example

Linking Words

, a study from

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

illustrates that 89% of

students

Use synonyms

loose

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their focus

due to

Linking Words

using

phones

Use synonyms

or laptops during

learning

Correct article usage

the learning

show examples

proceee

Correct your spelling

process

Secondly

Linking Words

banned

Wrong verb form

banning

show examples

students

Use synonyms

from using their mobiles may enhance

Use synonyms

students

Change noun form

students'

student's

show examples

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

to achieve high marks and

then

Linking Words

achieve their goals.

In other words

Linking Words

childen

Correct your spelling

children

will 100% pay attention to their teacher's talk which

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

them to understand

Correct word choice

and acieve

show examples

acieve

Correct your spelling

achieve

high progress quickly.

For example

Linking Words

, If the student sits

Change preposition

on a

show examples

schoolnwithout

Correct your spelling

school without

telephone, they will do everything well. For all the above reasons,

phones

Use synonyms

should not be given to them On the

othr

Correct your spelling

other

hand, other people supposed that

students

Use synonyms

should be given their

phones

Use synonyms

. they assumed that

children

Use synonyms

may help

students

Use synonyms

a lot in the educational learning process.

Capitalize word

show examples

illustrate

this

Linking Words

, a lot of different educational apps are available on

phones

Use synonyms

so that

students

Use synonyms

can use them to engage

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

English

Correct article usage

an English

show examples

speaking app may be very helpful For EFL

students

Use synonyms

As it

Correct word choice

show examples

can give them the opportunity to learn

speaks

Verb problem

to speak

show examples

easily cause

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they will read and listen . To

sump

Correct your spelling

sum

show examples

up mobile

phones

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

become an essential part

from

Change preposition

show examples

our life but

children

Use synonyms

should be

obeserved

Correct your spelling

observed

and get

controled

Correct your spelling

controlled

control

from dealing with it

directhy

Correct your spelling

directly

From

Change the preposition

show examples

my opinion ,

children

Use synonyms

should be

panned

Correct your spelling

banned

show examples

from using

phones

Use synonyms

monahhj123Fri Apr 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction clarity

Make sure your introduction provides a clear preview of the discussion and your position.

Sentence variety

Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication in your writing.

Paragraphing

Consider using paragraphs to clearly separate your ideas, making your argument easier to follow.

Spelling and Grammar

Keep a close eye on spelling and grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Use of examples

Cite specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

Conclusion effectiveness

Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of your essay and reiterates your opinion clearly.

Task Response

You have addressed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is good for task response.

Vocabulary Range

You've used a reasonable range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

Organization

There's an effort to organize ideas logically, which helps in understanding your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Minimize
Distractions
Prohibit
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate
Encourage
Social interaction
Educational apps
Safety tool
Emergencies
Responsible use
Balanced approach
Restrictions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?
Some individuals argue that retaking driver’s tests every five years should be enforced. However, this statement has a positive and negative perspective because it can be a great system to find out a driver’s ability consistently, but on the contrary, the cost of the test can be quite expensive.
6
band
An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
Obesity is a new-age disorder. Nowadays, many children suffer from being overweight, which inevitablely will affect their health and quality of life, both on short and long-term levels. This essay will discuss the causes of obesity for young people and suggest possible solutions.
6.5
band
Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? What do people do to achieve an ideal society?
Throughout the ages, living in an ideal society has been a dream for individuals, although there has been no agreement that what the perfect society would be like. I think to make this society, justice is the most important element, and very important actions should be taken by people to establish it.
6
band
Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, the debate over whether students should solely focus on their academic studies or engage in extracurricular activities continues to persist. While some argue that academic excellence should be the primary focus, I firmly believe that participating in extracurricular activities is equally important. This essay will delve into the reasons behind my stance.
7
band
Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
There is no denying the fact that every kind of job has different standards, while it is a commonly held belief that some individuals think that the limit age of workers has to be a maximum of 65. There is also an argument that there must not be a certain age to continue working. This essay will analyze this topic from both points of view and express my own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it should be compulsory for people to retake their driving test every five years. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and health care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? What do people do to achieve an ideal society?

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.