In many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.

It is said that global nations are raising funds for
development
Correct article usage
the development
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in
Change preposition
of
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technologies to cope with the public.
This
happened
due to
the increasingly harmful strife in big cities between religions and sexes.
This
author thinks it is a newly creative approach and use of government
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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to prevent injuries for forces
while
doing their missions to stop chaos.
To begin
,
this
way of preventing disturbance is considered to have the benefit of saving cash and lives.
This
is because, Artificial Intelligence will replace cops, to become a strong barrier to stop people from invading and trespassing in restricted areas.
Moreover
, robots are built with precious metals with high hardness which can be easier to monitor and save people from turmoil without getting injured.
For instance
, Denmark applied robotic cops to reduce the rates of crime and protest and
also
to help government monitoring by providing images and videos through it is camera and voice recognition.
Secondly
, another essential advantage that it brings is it saves a lot of
bill
Change to a plural noun
bills
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. By way of explanation, there will be no other injuries payment, shift or work payment.
This
is because robots can automatically and continuously work all day without paying them a cent, though can be damaged the repair fee is considered to be budget-friendly.
For example
, robots are seen to be online and offline volunteer protectors, they help to keep society in line and terminate bad things. Taking everything into consideration,
this
author thinks
this
is a creative means of the use of government payment to develop
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
with new technologies to keep things in line and stop turmoil and acts of crime.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on enhancing clarity in your essay by simplifying complex sentences and ensuring each paragraph clearly presents one main idea.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding on how investing in new technology directly impacts the public, providing a broader perspective on the government's role and the potential benefits or drawbacks.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay had a strong structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which made your argument easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You effectively used examples, such as the use of robotic cops in Denmark, to support your points, making your argument more persuasive.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governmental investment
  • enhance efficiency
  • accessibility
  • responsiveness
  • public services
  • progressive step
  • modernizing
  • quality of life
  • technological advancements
  • data management
  • policy decisions
  • streamlined processes
  • shift towards technology
  • digitization
  • digital divide
  • privacy
  • prioritization
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