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Band 3.5

The chart below shows tha global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.

The chart below shows tha global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.
#tha #sales #kinds #games
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The chart elucidates the information on the worldwide sales of different
games
Use synonyms
 between 2000 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the popularity of all the
games
Use synonyms
 rose steadily over the
preiod
Correct your spelling
period
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 six years, except the console
games
Use synonyms
. At first glance, it is apparent that there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no trend
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 online and mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 in starting of
this
Linking Words
 period,
whereas
Linking Words
 online
games
Use synonyms
 were introduced in 2001, and
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 demand climbed up sharply until the end of 2006 which was almost 8
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 came
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 in 2002, and the expenditure was around 7
billion
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2006.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the handheld
games
Use synonyms
 were highest in the deal in 2000 and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 peak in 2006,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
besides
Linking Words
, the console
games
Use synonyms
 got
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
 of almost 6
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars which
further
Linking Words
 declined below 5
billion
Use synonyms
 dollars over
this
Linking Words
 period.
Submitted by kaurv083 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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