Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of the school subject. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge

Exercise
can be useful or cause some mistakes in health. Various
people
exist in the world, so everyone can not do every
exercise
, and some exercises can harm the division of
people
; in my opinion, I agree about
this
topic, and I will discuss my results.
Firstly
, every person at some age can not do each
sport
for example
we don'
t
imagine elderly
people
can play football similar to pro players or swimming in the
olympics
Change the capitalization
Olympics
show examples
.
secondly
, some
people
are sick in some parts of their body;
for instance
, since some
people
are blind, they can'
t
play with normal
people
, and maybe they are harmed at play. meanwhile, they can play special sports. in many conditions, humans better do in one or two sports, and they have talent in one
sport
, so when they like to play another
sport
, they can develop as football players can'
t
play bully.
On the other hand
, in many events of
sport
, many pro players sometimes can control themselves and
then
go to the hospital for
treating
Replace the word
treatment
show examples
. normal
people
can always do every
sport
, but they must sometimes be informed danger doesn'
t
sound before;
thus
, they must pay attention to their health. For me when I was 12 years old. I play tennis every afternoon, one day when I was playing with my classmates In the schoolyard, I felt my hand hurt so I went to the hospital, and I found my hand had broken in the game. in conclusion, every person has a special situation, and
exercise
can be dangerous, sometimes but we must
exercise
by paying attention
Change preposition
to warrning
show examples
warrning
Correct your spelling
warning
.
Submitted by poriaprashidi on

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Structure
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Introduction/Conclusion
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Clarity
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Cohesion
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Examples
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Grammar
Pay attention to sentence structure and punctuation. Proper use of both will enhance the readability and professionalism of your writing.
Understanding of Task
You did well to address the prompt by discussing the importance of suitable exercises for different people, showing an understanding of the task.
Use of Personal Examples
You provided personal examples, which is good for making your arguments more relatable and engaging.
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