In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations

It is an undeniable fact that we have seen a rise in life expectancy among

industrilised

Correct your spelling

industrialised

industrialized

nations.

This

essay will delve into two principal problems that it makes for our

society

as well as

providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

suggestions to tackle

this

phenomenon. Regarding problems,

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in life expectancy not only puts a higher pressure on

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

working class generation

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

weakens the economic power of countries. First of all, It harms

working

Correct article usage

the working

show examples

class because it reduces new Job vacancies, if

people

expect to live more and with a higher quality, it results in them wanting to

work

due to

feeling

energizied

Correct your spelling

energized

energised

and motivated.

Consequently

, The retirement age increases and it makes it harder for younger educated

people

to find occupation, as these are reserved by mostly

eledrly

Correct your spelling

elderly

individuals. Equally importantly,

This

event

also

brings up the average age in countries which means there will be more old

people

than ever

which

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

are either in their retirement(

society

needs to

work

and provide for them) or even if they are working, they would not be as efficient as Fresh workers.

As a result

work

quality and creativity

reduces

Wrong verb form

are reduced

show examples

and

overally

Correct your spelling

overall

damages

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the economy gradually. To mitigate those mentioned detrimental effects,

firstly

people

shound

Correct your spelling

should

be prevented to continue working when they retire, even if they wish.

furthemore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, they can only be allowed to

work

as supervisors and guides to new workers.

This

will help with providing suitable jobs for new

people

Secondly

, We must encourage

society

towards

inceasing

Correct your spelling

increasing

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

this

will increase the number of junior workforce

in addition

to bringing the average age down. In conclusion,

while

increase

Add an article

the increase

an increase

show examples

in average life

expectnacy

Correct your spelling

expectancy

is an inevitable fact in today's

society

and has its own

problmes

Correct your spelling

problems

for us, there are ways to alleviate these issues.

Submitted by soroush.nezami on Fri Apr 19 2024

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Grammar and punctuation

Ensure consistency in spelling (e.g., 'industrilised' should be 'industrialised'), and pay attention to grammar and punctuation for better clarity.

Argument depth

Be cautious with generalisations. It's beneficial to support claims with examples or data to strengthen the argument.

Cohesion

Use transitional phrases to ensure smooth flow between paragraphs and within sentences. This enhances coherence and overall readability.

Argument breadth

Consider exploring a wider variety of solutions, including technological and healthcare innovations, to provide a more comprehensive response to the issue.

Structure

Your essay presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion.

Content relevance

You've effectively identified and discussed the problems stemming from increased life expectancy.

Solution viability

The suggestions offered for mitigating the impact of ageing populations are practical and show consideration of societal needs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Fully explain your ideas

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rates now-a-days is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should learn how to compete, but other think that children should be taught to cooperatevto become more useful adults. Express some reasons for both views and give your opinion.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.