The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The map illustrates a project
that is
Linking Words
led by a country that has decided to establish a new restaurant in the central part of Paris. 
To begin
Linking Words
with, the first
location
Use synonyms
is located by the river in the direction of Birhakim Bridge, which is in the western area. The proximity of it to the Martini Museum, which has 8,000 visitors per day, is a positive point for the restaurant. There is a park to the west of
this
Linking Words
location
Use synonyms
, which makes its atmosphere more charming. The second situation between the Eiffel Tower and the Enclosed Art Museum will be remarkable. There is a park in the south, and the Sein River is visible in the north.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
around the Eiffel Tower will allow the restaurant to always have guests to serve.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it can be apparently seen that
location
Use synonyms
2 is likely to attract more customers than
location
Use synonyms
1, since the number of visitors to the Eiffel Tower is as much as two times that to the Maritime Museum.
Submitted by rahaaa1325 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words location with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
What to do next:
Look at other essays: